DIY divorce

[mudskipper]

I really find it hard to believe that there's hordes of women who marry a rich bloke in order to divorce them a short while later. And if a woman is like that, then it should be pretty apparent if you look past the sex and get to know her properly before getting hitched.

But I do agree that if a marriage is very short, and there are no kids, both parties should end with what they started with, give or take.

My point is that many couples are happy for bloke to take breadwinner role, it's not usually a case that the woman refuses to work whilst the man is begging her to. It's a partnership, and when it's dissolved, both parties should come out equally. If you're not happy with that, then marry a career girl and be prepared to pull your weight and make sacrifices in your own career when kids come along.

It also often seems unfair that 'blame' doesn't have any weight in divorce settlements - but relationship breakdown is rarely as black and white as one party's fault or the other.

[doodab]

I really find it hard to believe that there's hordes of women who marry a rich bloke in order to divorce them a short while later. And if a woman is like that, then it should be pretty apparent if you look past the sex and get to know her properly before getting hitched.

There are a lot of blokes who are shallow twats and buy into the whole "flash the cash to attract the ladies" ethos. They are basically asking for it, so to speak.

[vetran]

Then why should it affect your career? Other than a couple of weeks off for a honeymoon?

In that example I didn't say it did, I was just eye candy on a £10k salary I never had a career , so why do I get half her fortune or maintenance to keep me in the standard she made me accustomed to. Should I just take half of the profit from the marriage and get my £10k job again?

I really think a set of rules to control the dispersal of assets that takes into account the investment and ongoing contribution into the marriage. I also think there should be a time when divorces result in little or no lifelong gain for some mismatched parties especially in the short childless ones with disparate earners. Currently the bun fight in the courts just make lawyers rich.

[mudskipper]

In that example I didn't say it did, I was just eye candy on a £10k salary I never had a career , so why do I get half her fortune or maintenance to keep me in the standard she made me accustomed to. Should I just take half of the profit from the marriage and get my £10k job again?

I really think a set of rules to control the dispersal of assets that takes into account the investment and ongoing contribution into the marriage. I also think there should be a time when divorces result in little or no lifelong gain for some mismatched parties especially in the short childless ones with disparate earners. Currently the bun fight in the courts just make lawyers rich.

But how do you measure ongoing contribution to a marriage? Is the partner who stays at home bringing up the kids contributing less than the partner who's earning the money?

"The value of your investment can go down as well as up and you may not get back what you invested"

[doodab]

In that example I didn't say it did, I was just eye candy on a £10k salary I never had a career , so why do I get half her fortune or maintenance to keep me in the standard she made me accustomed to. Should I just take half of the profit from the marriage and get my £10k job again?

Because the law presumes that marriage is a partnership and you added something to the marriage and are therefore partially responsible for the "profit". If you didn't contribute anything because you're a waste of space then more fool her for marrying you. She had plenty of chance to check you out in advance and made a bad decision. It's no different than buying a second hand car that turns out to be a lemon or a buying a house without a survey that turns out to be subsiding.

[SueEllen]

In that example I didn't say it did, I was just eye candy on a £10k salary I never had a career , so why do I get half her fortune or maintenance to keep me in the standard she made me accustomed to. Should I just take half of the profit from the marriage and get my £10k job again?

Firstly there are women and men who if they didn't have children and were their main carer, would have a decent career. There are still jobs out there were you can start on 10k but due to your personality, intelligence and other traits you can over 10 years rise to earn 2+ the average wage.

There is absolutely no way of knowing whether you would have stayed in the 10k job or had the nouce to earn higher income. Though if you were intelligent enough to be able to meet and marry such an individual it indicates you may be.

Plus some of the stories I've heard from divorced men AND women is that their lower earning ex-partner did do things that promoted their career. For example having someone to sort out tradesmen to being able to entertain the right people are things you can't give a monetary cost to even if you don't have children.

[AtW]

Think the "till death do us part" bit was a clue

We need to ask some experienced people like Brillo - does divorce (for a man) qualify as near death experience?

[vetran]

But how do you measure ongoing contribution to a marriage? Is the partner who stays at home bringing up the kids contributing less than the partner who's earning the money?

"The value of your investment can go down as well as up and you may not get back what you invested"

I avoided the issue of kids in the example, that always creates an emotional angle to the argument. However there are a number of studies that quantify the financial value of a stay at home 'mother'.

"It Could be you" if we are going for relevant quotations from the Anna Nicole Smith/ Heather McCartney story.

Dallas - If there is no way of knowing what could have happened with their career then how can you know what benefit they added to their partners? Or if their contribution was so huge will their partners good fortune continue after the divorce? Should the ex get a part of that?

Assuming you aren't supporting someone else maybe you could afford to hire decent tradesmen. A good escort can be used for entertaining (the sort that don't go home with you afterwards) or just a girl/boy friend.

Its all a bit intangible and emotionally charged. I believe a proper an impartial set of rules would serve everyone better.

Currently we are seen as a soft touch country for divorces as our settlements are more generous, which is why our judges sit listening to foreign millionaires divorcing, I wonder who pays for the judge?

[BrilloPad]

We need to ask some experienced people like Brillo - does divorce (for a man) qualify as near death experience?

Its subjective. Get married and divorced then let us know.

Or start a thread with a poll and have everyone lie....

[northernladuk]

I really find it hard to believe that there's hordes of women who marry a rich bloke in order to divorce them a short while later. And if a woman is like that, then it should be pretty apparent if you look past the sex and get to know her properly before getting hitched.

Hmm good advice, I will try that next time. Yours Faithfully, Hugh Hefner.