DIY divorce

[northernladuk]

Yes, and it also needs NOT to be viewed as a life-long commitment.

If it's viewed as a proper contract, you would have a finite end date (say 5-7 years) with exit provision to be considered (including what to do with the house, the dog and the kids).

Then towards of the contract date both parties can decide to extend the original contract or exit using pre-agreed procedures.

This would be the sensible approach, I reckon.

So I need to change my standard saying to 'Notice periods are for permies and married people' ?

[AtW]

I see where you are coming from - but it sounds a bit tacky when you are supposedly making a life long commitment to another person to be formalising plans for a separation

It's not life long, but open ended...

[Troll]

It's not life long, but open ended...

Think the "till death do us part" bit was a clue

[vetran]

It's not that he holds her back - it's that they enter a relationship where the income is one-sided for the good of the family unit. It's a joint decision, and one that shouldn't be taken if you're not prepared to stick to it long term, as it's one that's very difficult to reverse.

why?

If I married her and enjoyed a higher standard of life because of the relationship why should I continue to enjoy the benefits of the relationship if I end it? I should go get a job and support myself.

I should be no worse off than I would have been if I never married.

Its a bit like resigning and saying 'oh my new job doesn't pay as much, can you send me pay cheques for the difference ?'

[doodab]

I should be no worse off than I would have been if I never married.

Why? It's quite possible both parties end up worse off from the deal. Why should you be exempt from risk?

[BrilloPad]

So I need to change my standard saying to 'Notice periods are for permies and married people' ?

As ,long as you keep to abusing the newbies.

[vetran]

Why? It's quite possible both parties end up worse off from the deal. Why should you be exempt from risk?

Did you read the post?

I was cast as the weaker partner. Therefore I was exempt from risk but also excluded from unreasonable gain.

The key point is - should Marriage be a career choice?

[doodab]

The key point is - should Marriage be a career choice?

Well ultimately giving up work to raise children is a career choice.

[vetran]

Well ultimately giving up work to raise children is a career choice.

in this case we aren't talking about raising children.

Just marriage.

[doodab]

in this case we aren't talking about raising children.

Just marriage.

Then why should it affect your career? Other than a couple of weeks off for a honeymoon?