- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
The worst contractor you have ever worked with or heard about
Collapse
X
-
-
Originally posted by TestMangler View Post
I'm not a Geordie'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!Comment
-
Whoever had previously sat in the seat I was given. It was disgusting! Swapped it as soon as I got the chance.bloggoth
If everything isn't black and white, I say, 'Why the hell not?'
John Wayne (My guru, not to be confused with my beloved prophet Jeremy Clarkson)Comment
-
Not entirely relevant, but will probably confirm to the panel their deep dislike of me.
When I was a permie manager many years ago, through nefarious routes, I found out about a contractor my team lead (we'll call him Tim) hired. A Scot of Indian ethnicity. We'll call him Jim for short.
For the first two weeks, all was well. Then he started coming in late. So Tim had a quiet word and Jim seemed to get himself together and was usually in the office within 10 minutes of 9. Then Jim's work started deteriorating. Stupid mistakes slipping through. During the 4th week, during a team meeting a half-bottle of whisky fell out of Jim's pocket... and that was the end of Jim.
Or so Tim thought...
A couple of years later, I got a call from Jim's agent, cheeky smegger, asking me if I'd put Jim on our Barcelona project- being run by Tim. I politely declined.
But that gave me an opportunity with Tim that I couldn't resist.
I told him I'd recruited this great contractor Jim who was all he neded for this project. I lauded him to the heavens, I told Tim that I'd managed to ensure that Jim would join the project for the following day, and that he would pick Jim up from the airport.
There was a short pause.
Than Tim confessed all.
I laughed and laughed and laughed.
In my defence, m'lud, in between this project, was the time of the Office and Tim could do a wonderful Dave Brent. In Paris during the project management meetings, he'd start doing Dave Brent entirely to get me to crack up, the little tulip. I didn't get him back very often, but this was sooooo satisfying.
Tim is now a CIO at a multinat. And one of the best people I've ever worked with.
I'm still an 'umble contractor. Ever so 'umble sir.Down with racism. Long live miscegenation!Comment
-
Originally posted by NotAllThere View PostNot entirely relevant, but will probably confirm to the panel their deep dislike of me.
When I was a permie manager many years ago, through nefarious routes, I found out about a contractor my team lead (we'll call him Tim) hired. A Scot of Indian ethnicity. We'll call him Jim for short.
For the first two weeks, all was well. Then he started coming in late. So Tim had a quiet word and Jim seemed to get himself together and was usually in the office within 10 minutes of 9. Then Jim's work started deteriorating. Stupid mistakes slipping through. During the 4th week, during a team meeting a half-bottle of whisky fell out of Jim's pocket... and that was the end of Jim.
Or so Tim thought...
A couple of years later, I got a call from Jim's agent, cheeky smegger, asking me if I'd put Jim on our Barcelona project- being run by Tim. I politely declined.
But that gave me an opportunity with Tim that I couldn't resist.
I told him I'd recruited this great contractor Jim who was all he neded for this project. I lauded him to the heavens, I told Tim that I'd managed to ensure that Jim would join the project for the following day, and that he would pick Jim up from the airport.
There was a short pause.
Than Tim confessed all.
I laughed and laughed and laughed.
In my defence, m'lud, in between this project, was the time of the Office and Tim could do a wonderful Dave Brent. In Paris during the project management meetings, he'd start doing Dave Brent entirely to get me to crack up, the little tulip. I didn't get him back very often, but this was sooooo satisfying.
Tim is now a CIO at a multinat. And one of the best people I've ever worked with.
I'm still an 'umble contractor. Ever so 'umble sir.Comment
-
Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post
I told him I'd recruited this great contractor Jim who was all he neded for this project. I lauded him to the heavens, I told Tim that I'd managed to ensure that Jim would join the project for the following day, and that he would pick Jim up from the airport.
There was a short pause.
Than Tim confessed all.
I laughed and laughed and laughed.Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.Comment
-
Originally posted by northernladuk View PostInsert 'swears a lot in an accent only his mother can understand' and its you.
It was a matching mop and bucket.....When freedom comes along, don't PISH in the water supply.....Comment
-
Originally posted by TestMangler View PostI never bought my Mrs pots and pans for xmas either.
It was a matching mop and bucket.....Comment
-
Originally posted by NotAllThere View PostNot entirely relevant, but will probably confirm to the panel their deep dislike of me.
When I was a permie manager many years ago, through nefarious routes, I found out about a contractor my team lead (we'll call him Tim) hired. A Scot of Indian ethnicity. We'll call him Jim for short.
For the first two weeks, all was well. Then he started coming in late. So Tim had a quiet word and Jim seemed to get himself together and was usually in the office within 10 minutes of 9. Then Jim's work started deteriorating. Stupid mistakes slipping through. During the 4th week, during a team meeting a half-bottle of whisky fell out of Jim's pocket... and that was the end of Jim.
Or so Tim thought...
A couple of years later, I got a call from Jim's agent, cheeky smegger, asking me if I'd put Jim on our Barcelona project- being run by Tim. I politely declined.
But that gave me an opportunity with Tim that I couldn't resist.
I told him I'd recruited this great contractor Jim who was all he neded for this project. I lauded him to the heavens, I told Tim that I'd managed to ensure that Jim would join the project for the following day, and that he would pick Jim up from the airport.
There was a short pause.
Than Tim confessed all.
I laughed and laughed and laughed.
In my defence, m'lud, in between this project, was the time of the Office and Tim could do a wonderful Dave Brent. In Paris during the project management meetings, he'd start doing Dave Brent entirely to get me to crack up, the little tulip. I didn't get him back very often, but this was sooooo satisfying.
Tim is now a CIO at a multinat. And one of the best people I've ever worked with.
I'm still an 'umble contractor. Ever so 'umble sir.
Half way through I was starting to get confused over which "im" was which!Work in the public sector? Read the IR35 FAQ hereComment
-
Disclaimer: I don't do work in IT networks this was partially relayed to me on the day what had fully occurred.
There was a desk telephony rollout for a company I was doing work at, one contractor who shall not be named wondered what would happened if he put 2 cat5e cables into the desk phone then patch them into 2 adjoining floor network ports.
Walked in the next morning only to find the entire section the clod did this in have the network crash repeatedly, I was not a happy bunny.Comment
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Streamline Your Retirement with iSIPP: A Solution for Contractor Pensions Sep 1 09:13
- Making the most of pension lump sums: overview for contractors Sep 1 08:36
- Umbrella company tribunal cases are opening up; are your wages subject to unlawful deductions, too? Aug 31 08:38
- Contractors, relabelling 'labour' as 'services' to appear 'fully contracted out' won't dupe IR35 inspectors Aug 31 08:30
- How often does HMRC check tax returns? Aug 30 08:27
- Work-life balance as an IT contractor: 5 top tips from a tech recruiter Aug 30 08:20
- Autumn Statement 2023 tipped to prioritise mental health, in a boost for UK workplaces Aug 29 08:33
- Final reminder for contractors to respond to the umbrella consultation (closing today) Aug 29 08:09
- Top 5 most in demand cyber security contract roles Aug 25 08:38
- Changes to the right to request flexible working are incoming, but how will contractors be affected? Aug 24 08:25
Comment