Suity Whittington's Misadventures in London

[Old Greg]

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[Pondlife]

I've turned up on this gig and the place is a mess with devs running round like rats in a maze. It's not what I was expecting at all. Still, one of the BAs, Catherine, seems ok and I reckon she can whip the others into shape.

[MarillionFan]

Two days after arriving Catherine had been kidnapped by Vietnamese rebels and was being held as a prisoner in a bamboo hut 30 miles out of D'Nang. Well needless to say, yours truly ripped off his shirt, smeared boot polish on his face and headed off into the jungle with little more than a biro and a half completed requirements document

ftfy

[eek]

Day 12 - they still won't listen to me. Off to roof terrace to cry and eat some worms.

ftfy

[MarillionFan]

Day 24. The PM is an idiot. Suity to the rescue.

ftfy

[eek]

DAY 36 - System is a mess. I'm slowly documenting the gaps but the PM uses the report as toilet paper rather than reading it....

ftfy

[MarillionFan]

Day 45. It all got quite heated today. Catherine returned from the jungle and accused the PM of arranging her kidnapping as to 'get her out of there'. The Architect and PM reacted badly and before we knew it we were trussed up in the server room with the chief tester who was dressed in a leather suit & gimp mask. The Architect who was called Zed, then decided to take turns with us. Catherine was upset, but I quite enjoyed it. Luckily we managed to overpower Zed and the PM, but Catherine stayed behind saying 'I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' *******, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch'.

I think I may start looking around.

ftfy

[Pondlife]

WTF sort of pantos did you lot see as kids.

[minestrone]

Day 52. I have not been well since the start of this gig and I think there is something terribly wrong with me, I seen my GP four times last week trying to explain that I have been on the internet and despite my lack of any symptoms I should obviously be sent for an immediate CAT scan, I left a turd at reception yesterday and since then the time to get an appointment has went up to 7 weeks.

ftfy

[DirtyDog]

Let's save time - here's the project timeline:

The project is a nightmare. No-one listens to me - I keep asking for specs and they haven't got any. I got them all into a room and no-one listened to me. In the end I just told them that I've pulled their arses out of the fire and saved the day, because they are all fsking useless

I feel ill now - think I'm dying. It's the worst, worst thing ever. I'm on death's door, hoping no-one will open it for me.

Came back from my deathbed - it's a nightmare. They've ignored everything I told them to do. Need to start looking.

I'm walking. I'm walking - there's nothing they can do to make me stay. Horrible client, I hate it.

They've listened and begged me to stay. Things are looking up

Phew, that's over - had to leave after three months, having saved the day .

Market looks poor, off to the playroom now