Bought the Farm

[Old Hack]

Just what I was thinking. Are you selling time with pigs? (female obviously)

Shaunyboy block booked 2014 and wants to eat them too.

I'll guess I could get some more in and not tell him.

[shaunbhoy]

That bought a tear to your eye;

I had a vasectomy 3 weeks ago. I was sagely advised it was a scalpel free technique which would take 15 minutes at most. Ok, the injections were interesting but then, well, due to a lifetime of playing cricket, and, as the surgeon said, taking a large amount of trauma to the testicles, my vas deferens was firmly connected to my left testicle, so out came the scalpel to separate the two, and after, and I am not joking, 50 minutes of agony, where I was at times literally wailing, the pain subsided enough for me to whimper ‘is that it’, to which he replied, no, we have to do the right one too. Obviously, seeing me collapse into a ball shuddering with weak cries, he said, you can come back for that one if you want. Thinking, there’s no way I could possibly come back knowing how much pain I was going to be in, rendering the whole stupid charade pointless, I said no, might as well finish the job. A 15 minute ‘procedure’ turned into a 1,5 hour operation, performed under local +gas. I wept the whole way home, and had to lie in bed for a week. It still hurts like fook.

I am not too sure I have spoken civilly to my wife since...

I too had a rather traumatic experience following my "snip", which I was assured (mainly by Mrs SB!!) was a routine and trouble free procedure for a man. Far more straightforward than a woman's sterilisation. Humbug!!
Following the procedure, all done under a local anasthaetic, I experienced a bit of continued bleeding into my left gooley. This resulted in the thing swelling up to the size of a small honeydew melon ( or so it seemed to me at least!). Whilst it was not especially sore it was bloody uncomfortable and meant that to go to sleep lying on your side you had to place a pillow between your legs. This was the case for a good couple of weeks before the thing subsided. Should have googled the op first!!

[BoredBloke]

I too had a rather traumatic experience following my "snip", which I was assured (mainly by Mrs SB!!) was a routine and trouble free procedure for a man. Far more straightforward than a woman's sterilisation. Humbug!!
Following the procedure, all done under a local anasthaetic, I experienced a bit of continued bleeding into my left gooley. This resulted in the thing swelling up to the size of a small honeydew melon ( or so it seemed to me at least!). Whilst it was not especially sore it was bloody uncomfortable and meant that to go to sleep lying on your side you had to place a pillow between your legs. This was the case for a good couple of weeks before the thing subsided. Should have googled the op first!!

Amazing isn't it that women go on amout this routine and pain free operation on something that they have absolutely no knowledge of yet big up child birth.

[Old Hack]

I too had a rather traumatic experience following my "snip", which I was assured (mainly by Mrs SB!!) was a routine and trouble free procedure for a man. Far more straightforward than a woman's sterilisation. Humbug!!
Following the procedure, all done under a local anasthaetic, I experienced a bit of continued bleeding into my left gooley. This resulted in the thing swelling up to the size of a small honeydew melon ( or so it seemed to me at least!). Whilst it was not especially sore it was bloody uncomfortable and meant that to go to sleep lying on your side you had to place a pillow between your legs. This was the case for a good couple of weeks before the thing subsided. Should have googled the op first!!

I was feeling really sorry for myself until I went in to have th stitches removed and saw a man almost carrying his in; apparently he had the same issues as I did, but his got infected.

I googled the op, read the procedure top to toe, queried it, read some more, did some more research and come out believing this would be the most pain free.

She's the one who didn't want more kids aswell...

Rather wishing I'd have stalled for more than the home cinema kit she dangled in front of my greedy eyes...

[MarillionFan]

That bought a tear to your eye;

I had a vasectomy 3 weeks ago. I was sagely advised it was a scalpel free technique which would take 15 minutes at most. Ok, the injections were interesting but then, well, due to a lifetime of playing cricket, and, as the surgeon said, taking a large amount of trauma to the testicles, my vas deferens was firmly connected to my left testicle, so out came the scalpel to separate the two, and after, and I am not joking, 50 minutes of agony, where I was at times literally wailing, the pain subsided enough for me to whimper ‘is that it’, to which he replied, no, we have to do the right one too. Obviously, seeing me collapse into a ball shuddering with weak cries, he said, you can come back for that one if you want. Thinking, there’s no way I could possibly come back knowing how much pain I was going to be in, rendering the whole stupid charade pointless, I said no, might as well finish the job. A 15 minute ‘procedure’ turned into a 1,5 hour operation, performed under local +gas. I wept the whole way home, and had to lie in bed for a week. It still hurts like fook.

I am not too sure I have spoken civilly to my wife since...

I too had a rather traumatic experience following my "snip", which I was assured (mainly by Mrs SB!!) was a routine and trouble free procedure for a man. Far more straightforward than a woman's sterilisation. Humbug!!
Following the procedure, all done under a local anasthaetic, I experienced a bit of continued bleeding into my left gooley. This resulted in the thing swelling up to the size of a small honeydew melon ( or so it seemed to me at least!). Whilst it was not especially sore it was bloody uncomfortable and meant that to go to sleep lying on your side you had to place a pillow between your legs. This was the case for a good couple of weeks before the thing subsided. Should have googled the op first!!

You pair of bedwetting jaffas.

[Old Hack]

You pair of bedwetting jaffas.

You know MF, seriously, I have, or thought I had, endured a lot of pain in my life, including a multiple leg fracture and ligament snap skiing, and nothing, nothing could have prepared me for this. Nothing.

I literally cried all the way home, sobbed, as the pain was just too great to bare

EDIT: Not a jaffa yet, got 20 weeks apparently, left to sow my seeds

[d000hg]

Amazing isn't it that women go on amout this routine and pain free operation on something that they have absolutely no knowledge of yet big up child birth.

Be fair, most men don't get their balls smashed up for recreation like Old Hack.

[Old Hack]

Be fair, most men don't get their balls smashed up for recreation like Old Hack.

Most men do play sport, which is why it isn't a surprise you didn't

All that praying and waiting for an answer (that will never arrive) must take up a lot of a lads time

[Mich the Tester]

I too had a rather traumatic experience following my "snip", which I was assured (mainly by Mrs SB!!) was a routine and trouble free procedure for a man. Far more straightforward than a woman's sterilisation. Humbug!!
Following the procedure, all done under a local anasthaetic, I experienced a bit of continued bleeding into my left gooley. This resulted in the thing swelling up to the size of a small honeydew melon ( or so it seemed to me at least!). Whilst it was not especially sore it was bloody uncomfortable and meant that to go to sleep lying on your side you had to place a pillow between your legs. This was the case for a good couple of weeks before the thing subsided. Should have googled the op first!!

You know MF, seriously, I have, or thought I had, endured a lot of pain in my life, including a multiple leg fracture and ligament snap skiing, and nothing, nothing could have prepared me for this. Nothing.

I literally cried all the way home, sobbed, as the pain was just too great to bare

EDIT: Not a jaffa yet, got 20 weeks apparently, left to sow my seeds

Thankyou chaps for your graphic and detailed accounts. Seeing as I have also played cricket, and had my balls punched on a rugby pitch by an idiot Frenchman, and once landed uncomfortably when performing a jump on a BMX, I expect there may be some scar tissue around my goolies too. I have now decided with complete certainty that I shall not be going for a vasectomy.

[Old Hack]

Thankyou chaps for your graphic and detailed accounts. Seeing as I have also played cricket, and had my balls punched on a rugby pitch by an idiot Frenchman, and once landed uncomfortably when performing a jump on a BMX, I expect there may be some scar tissue around my goolies too. I have now decided with complete certainty that I shall not be going for a vasectomy.

I'd like to say WMTTS, but can't...

Apparently some are lucky, some aren't. My guess, is that the lucky ones are the ones who weren't stupid enough to listen to their wives.