Bought the Farm

[Mich the Tester]

I'd like to say WMTTS, but can't...

Apparently some are lucky, some aren't. My guess, is that the lucky ones are the ones who weren't stupid enough to listen to their wives.

Lady Tester manages the finances of my new contracting venture, and she makes the decisions about household spending, and makes it very clear if I am about to leave the door wearing unsuitable clothing. She decides on most of our social outings, she was the one, after three of the finest orthopaedic surgeons told me to stop playing rugby, who actually convinced me to stop playing (lots of 'I'm sick of these bloody injuries' and 'I thought you were smart but I'm realising you're a bloody idiot' and 'face it, you're not 21 any more'), and I don't mind admitting that these days she pretty much runs my life. She may make use of my tackle whenever it pleases her and within the bounds of correct usage, but I shall never cede to her controlling the internal workings of said tackle, especially after reading the stories of Old Hackdonald and SB.

[BoredBloke]

My wife has started asking me to get the snip. I've told her I won't because you never know, I might meet somebody else! That doesn't go down well.

[Mich the Tester]

My wife has started asking me to get the snip. I've told her I won't because you never know, I might meet somebody else! That doesn't go down well.

Yep, and if you relate the stories of SB and OH she'll tell you you're a wimp and 'it can't be as painful as giving birth'.

Maybe it's time to meet somebody else

[d000hg]

'it can't be as painful as giving birth'.

Probably true even in OH's case. He had a 1.5 hour operation under local anesthetic, he didn't tear his own skin after tulipting himself for 12+ hours.

[Old Hack]

Probably true even in OH's case. He had a 1.5 hour operation under local anesthetic, he didn't tear his own skin after tulipting himself for 12+ hours.

The stalking is strong with this one.

Surely that's not Christian of you

I wish I had heard the horrors before I went in. No chance, no fat ass 65" TV would have sated me. One of my friends told me he asked to watch the procedure. I'll never understand why. But, there seemed to be this kind of omerta surrounding the procedure, as in no one told me how bad it was until afterwards. My, they laughed. My wife thinks that just because men are cruel, and like laughing at their mates misfortunes. I think she's right...

[Old Hack]

Lady Tester manages the finances of my new contracting venture, and she makes the decisions about household spending, and makes it very clear if I am about to leave the door wearing unsuitable clothing. She decides on most of our social outings, she was the one, after three of the finest orthopaedic surgeons told me to stop playing rugby, who actually convinced me to stop playing (lots of 'I'm sick of these bloody injuries' and 'I thought you were smart but I'm realising you're a bloody idiot' and 'face it, you're not 21 any more'), and I don't mind admitting that these days she pretty much runs my life. She may make use of my tackle whenever it pleases her and within the bounds of correct usage, but I shall never cede to her controlling the internal workings of said tackle, especially after reading the stories of Old Hackdonald and SB.

Fight, tooth and nail, with every ounce of strength left in your body.

[shaunbhoy]

I was told by an old Army mate of mine that it was a piece of cake. "Just like the worst kick in the slats you have ever had........twice!"
At that point I decided not to bother............then about a year later along came a daughter to supplement the 4 sons we already had!!!
It was at that stage I finally relented and booked the Op.
After the Operation it all became a bit surreal. I was expected to show up at Torbay Hospital once a month for the next 3 months with a fresh sample of "wigglies....or not" cream.
This sample I seemed to be expected to produce whilst there, so duly made my way to the Toilets to "collect" it.
You have no idea how traumatic that can be when in mid-flow, so to speak, the door handle is constantly being throttled by impatient crinklies that do not appear to understand that when the door is fooking locked, it is busy!!
And not once did any of the young female nurses, that seemed to be there in abundance, offer to lend a helping hand!
After the 3rd time I rang up to find out what was happening only to be told that one of my samples had been mislaid and that I would need to start the whole process again.
I just never bothered in the end. Life's too short.

[cailin maith]

I just never bothered in the end. Life's too short.

And you, your wife and your 7 kids lived happily ever after

[shaunbhoy]

And you, your wife and your 7 kids lived happily ever after

[Old Hack]

I was told by an old Army mate of mine that it was a piece of cake. "Just like the worst kick in the slats you have ever had........twice!"
At that point I decided not to bother............then about a year later along came a daughter to supplement the 4 sons we already had!!!
It was at that stage I finally relented and booked the Op.
After the Operation it all became a bit surreal. I was expected to show up at Torbay Hospital once a month for the next 3 months with a fresh sample of "wigglies....or not" cream.
This sample I seemed to be expected to produce whilst there, so duly made my way to the Toilets to "collect" it.
You have no idea how traumatic that can be when in mid-flow, so to speak, the door handle is constantly being throttled by impatient crinklies that do not appear to understand that when the door is fooking locked, it is busy!!
And not once did any of the young female nurses, that seemed to be there in abundance, offer to lend a helping hand!
After the 3rd time I rang up to find out what was happening only to be told that one of my samples had been mislaid and that I would need to start the whole process again.
I just never bothered in the end. Life's too short.

Hahaha. At least I don't have that ignomy. Although, bizarrely, I have to have a pot of fresh swimmers, or the pool water should I say, on the morning of 30th September, before 12.30. Not the 29th, or the 1st October. 30th September, and before 12.30, and it has to be fresh.

I guess that's going to be a spirited drive since the clinic is 12 miles away on distinctly narrow lanes...

I might not bother, just in case they're fooling me and didn't do #2 in the end. Fool me once, big fool you; fool me twice, big fool me.