Who else here doesn't have children?

[Old Hack]

I think I'm one of the few people here in a traditional marriage who does not have and does not want kids?

I was one of those people...

[Ticktock]

What annoys me the most is people assume that the only reason I have not had kids must be because I can’t!! This annoys the hell out of me, I am more than a baby producing machine

What annoys me most is people assuming that my wife and I don't have kids through choice. Or when I tell them we can't coming back with assurances that we can, that things will just "work out" or take time. We wanted kids, but we can't. End of.

[SimonMac]

I've had kids, and now I am on a register for life

[eek]

I think I'm one of the few people here in a traditional marriage who does not have and does not want kids?

Doesn't your wife teach? I remember a question regarding names of teacher's children a few years back where after teaching for a few years many names had just been removed from the list due to bad memories.

[Pogle]

I was one of those people...

Me too, married 10 years before deciding to have a child.
Shes now almost 13 and an utter nightmare!! But we still made the right decision

[formant]

I still largely disagree with Old Hack. I mean, of course I love my child unconditionally, but she's not the first person I've loved like this. She's just the first person who additionally completely depends on me (and her father), being all tiny and needy at this stage.

I think what's more amazing to me is the feeling that some tiny creature appears to be trusting me with every fibre of her being. I mean my stepdaughters love me, I can tell that - they say it, they show it-, but they'll never love me the way they love their parents (yeh, even their emotionally abusive biological mother). I have to earn their love - as biological parents you get that unquestioningly.

To be honest, I think as a parent it's still easier to 'opt out' of the unconditional love thing than it is as a child. Explains why there are so many abused and neglected children forever chasing the love of their tulipy parents. :-/

[Old Hack]

I still largely disagree with Old Hack. I mean, of course I love my child unconditionally, but she's not the first person I've loved like this. She's just the first person who additionally completely depends on me (and her father), being all tiny and needy at this stage.

I think what's more amazing to me is the feeling that some tiny creature appears to be trusting me with every fibre of her being. I mean my stepdaughters love me, I can tell that - they say it, they show it-, but they'll never love me the way they love their parents (yeh, even their emotionally abusive biological mother). I have to earn their love - as biological parents you get that unquestioningly.

To be honest, I think as a parent it's still easier to 'opt out' of the unconditional love thing than it is as a child. Explains why there are so many abused and neglected children forever chasing the love of their tulipy parents. :-/

I can see it's changing though, and it will continue to. Close your eyes and think who would be the first you'd think of pulling out of a sinking car. I know what my answer would be.

[SimonMac]

I still largely disagree with Old Hack. I mean, of course I love my child unconditionally, but she's not the first person I've loved like this. She's just the first person who additionally completely depends on me (and her father), being all tiny and needy at this stage.

I think what's more amazing to me is the feeling that some tiny creature appears to be trusting me with every fibre of her being. I mean my stepdaughters love me, I can tell that - they say it, they show it-, but they'll never love me the way they love their parents (yeh, even their emotionally abusive biological mother). I have to earn their love - as biological parents you get that unquestioningly.

To be honest, I think as a parent it's still easier to 'opt out' of the unconditional love thing than it is as a child. Explains why there are so many abused and neglected children forever chasing the love of their tulipy parents. :-/

I kinda understand what you feel, my eldest two are not mine by birth and I had a closer bond with them than when my son was born, knowing that they love you not because they know no better, but because they choose to see you as their parent even if you are not. Over time the bond with my biological son has grown and now I don't seen any difference in how I feel for each of them.

[formant]

I can see it's changing though, and it will continue to. Close your eyes and think who would be the first you'd think of pulling out of a sinking car. I know what my answer would be.

What do you do with that metaphor if you have more than one biological child? Who's first then?

[SimonMac]

I can see it's changing though, and it will continue to. Close your eyes and think who would be the first you'd think of pulling out of a sinking car. I know what my answer would be.

My iPhone <3