Just dodged a drunk-driving ban.....

[SueEllen]

In a few weeks everyone they stop they will test.

Unfortunately some police forces don't have the common sense to do this all year round especially if they stop someone in the night who has clearly missed their address.

[JaybeeInCUK]

You are a marked man now, they know you are a twat and are lulling you into a false sense of security to ensure that when they get you you'll end up doing time instead of paying a fine.

Excuse me, that's "marked woman". I'll take the "twat" as it could apply to me in Americanese.

[bless 'em all]

Got a about 4-5 pints in me now, was bombing it back home at about 60 in a 30mph, coppers coming the other way, slowed down just as I passed them, but the rozzers turned around and followed.

Luckily was only a few turns of the wheel from home, kept my speed down, indicated and missed home a bit, got to T-junction, the filth pull up next to me (at which point I realised my deception job had been a good'un), lowered the window and went into my (true) story about how I'm helping their colleagues with id'ing the perp in an assault last week, the Boar asks, "What's that got to do with anything?"

I reply, "Nothing, admittedly", in my most clipped tones. It's dark, I drive pretty well when drunk and made sure I enunciated crisply but didn't overcook in case they caught on.

THe Sow sat next to the Boar asked me how long I had the car, my registered address, why I'd missed my new address (the road is on a slope), I suppose my articulate delivery, high forehead and geek glasses closed the show.

Thank FERRRRRRRRRRRRK they didn't ask me to get out of the car and get close to me. I was nearly toast.....

I live to drink drive another day.




JB

Your post shows a disturbing lack of respect for yourself, society and the law.

If this post is true then you're a twat.

If this post is not true then you're still a twat.

Mind how you go.

[Pondlife]

This didn't happen. HTH

OP is still a twat though.

Carry on.

[JaybeeInCUK]

Was it 4 or was it 5 BeeJay ?

I hope your new police commissioner brings back the birch. just for you

Actually it was 2 pints then started on bottles of Corona, got to about 4 before I lost count, but I'm sure I continued a bit. Was just easier to write 4-5 pints.

May also have had a Bailey's or two as a nightcap.

[doodab]

Excuse me, that's "marked woman".

So basically you got away with it because they assumed you always struggle to find your house.

[JaybeeInCUK]

So basically you got away with it because they assumed you always struggle to find your house.

While SOME women are dizzy, yes, it's them who get you who keep underestimating ALL of us. Also, I'm not above giving a policeman a smile and even a lip-bite. Bear in mind though, one of the rozzers was a woman, so my wiles wouldn't have worked on her (and she didn't look in any way butch either).

The only card I had to play was the 'Sober Professional Gal Who Sounds Like She Is A Lawyer And Is Going To Have A Field Day In Court With Us If We Have Nothing Else On Her' - which, as they had been initially approaching my vehicle from the OTHER direction, they hadn't.

I just played it very well, and yeah, I think I deserve an Oscar for last night's performance.

[EternalOptimist]

Actually it was 2 pints then started on bottles of Corona, got to about 4 before I lost count, but I'm sure I continued a bit. Was just easier to write 4-5 pints.

May also have had a Bailey's or two as a nightcap.

If you feel you can handle that, I am guessing that you are a 'larger lady' BeeJay

lucky they didn't pull you over for having flat tyres

[bless 'em all]

I think I deserve an Oscar for last night's performance.

I don't think they give out Oscars for best 'pissed up tart driving a car'.

But if they did, yeah why not, go and give yourself one.

[Robinho]

You were drunk on 4 pints?