Children with ADHD. Real or bad parenting?

[MarillionFan]

So they want him to attend a special unit two days a week. It's not available until January, so they want him to reduce his hours at school to 8.30-10.30 and for him to be homeschooled for the rest of the day until Jan.

So been attending the special unit for the last theee months for one day a week. For the other days two hours a day in mainstream (last month 1.5 hours) to be upped 15 minutes a week.

He doesn’t go in the class anymore sitting in a library with a 121. Not been to an assembly in a year and only just been allowed to have a playtime (we’d been picking him up just before). Can’t do clubs, can’t do lunchtimes, can’t do supermarkets, lost most of his friends now.

His draft EHCP has come through. 20 hours one to one in mainstream. So now rejecting that. School says he will need to leave as he now isn’t getting the curriculum.

With that draft I have now spent the last week having to visit special needs and behavioural schools. Some are like prisons, some like a one star motel Scooter would have stayed in, some religious, some normal looking.Quirky kids, slow kids, ADHD kids, kids wearing ear defenders, kids shouting, kids being restrained, loud kids, rude kids, special kids.

The school we went to today is good, up until eleven. A lot of schools will keep them until 18, but this was for juniors and seemed the best fit. They can deal with kids flipping out.

I asked how many kids went into mainstream when they leave this school. They said 4 in four years. 4! ******* four. I have to admit I cried.

So a special school next. I know where this will eventually go. I hate this thread.

[mudskipper]

Sorry to hear that

[MyUserName]

Sorry to hear that

[Pondlife]

tulip news MF. Sorry to hear.

[original PM]

I feel your pain and hope everything works out for the better.

But to take a different view mainstream schools are there to try and teach kids - they are probably not in the situation where they can offer the support needed an still ensure that all the other kids have a fair chance of success.

Would you be happy with your kids failing because the school was spending all the money and support on kids with extra support needs?

[scooterscot]

Not long dropped mine off at the wild kindergarten, they're sat outside for Brotzeit, it's -2c! You've now got my complete attention as to knowing when I'm going back indoors.

PS: 1 star hotels fill me with terror.

[SueEllen]

I feel your pain and hope everything works out for the better.

But to take a different view mainstream schools are there to try and teach kids - they are probably not in the situation where they can offer the support needed an still ensure that all the other kids have a fair chance of success.

Would you be happy with your kids failing because the school was spending all the money and support on kids with extra support needs?

Schools get extra money for kids with special educational needs so that isn't a valid argument as that's the money they should be spending on them.

The problem is that some kids with special educational needs need properly trained teaching staff around them virtually all the time who know what to do when they kick off. This is a problem in mainstream schools where teachers aren't trained and therefore don't think they can cope.

[original PM]

Schools get extra money for kids with special educational needs so that isn't a valid argument as that's the money they should be spending on them.

The problem is that some kids with special educational needs need properly trained teaching staff around them virtually all the time who know what to do when they kick off. This is a problem in mainstream schools where teachers aren't trained and therefore don't think they can cope.

Very true - but as a seven year old kid if you are bored with whatever teacher is saying and there is another seven year old kid who (in your young eyes) gets away with doing whatever the fook they want - then you as a seven year old kids are going to be distracted - and potentially will mimic that behaviour.

I do not have any answers but you have to see the problem from the other end.

[scooterscot]

Our eldest has language delay, navigating the support required in a language we don't speak well has been a nightmare. Nonetheless the support on offer is available both in and out of school. Ergotherapy, Logopädin (speech therapy) - back in my day it was he'll grow out of it.

A friend back in the UK is going through a similar phase a private school no less, yet the support is largely absent, causing much stress.

I'm no communist but I don't favour how unequal children are treated in some areas of education bank home. If anything I think it is important children mix with those challenged in others areas for it provides a 'this is the way the world is' view rather than our believe in what it should be. One of our local grundschules make this way of learning part of their philosophy.

[original PM]

Our eldest has language delay, navigating the support required in a language we don't speak well has been a nightmare. Nonetheless the support on offer is available both in and out of school. Ergotherapy, Logopädin (speech therapy) - back in my day it was he'll grow out of it.

A friend back in the UK is going through a similar phase a private school no less, yet the support is largely absent, causing much stress.

I'm no communist but I don't favour how unequal children are treated in some areas of education bank home. If anything I think it is important children mix with those challenged in others areas for it provides a 'this is the way the world is' view rather than our believe in what it should be. One of our local grundschules make this way of learning part of their philosophy.

But if one child is allowed to run around, screech, play with toys and generally do what they want - where as the rest have to sit down , shut up and listen where is the equality in that?

If you had to work next to someone who every few minutes got up, ran around played about with stuff on your desk and was generally disruptive - but still got paid the same as you how would you feel.

Especially if you started getting penalised because you are not able to do your work with the distractions.

There are accepted levels of how a human being should behave in a given situation - if you are saying that does not exist and any behaviour is acceptable then I think you are wanting to live in a strange and dangerous world.