child maintenance

[cailin maith]

I do still have an account on there left over from the hols as it happens, but I suspect the responses might not be all that helpful.

Maybe even less helpful than CUK, I know.... it's mental to think that could even be possible

[d000hg]

Yes - we aren't married.

I meant it sounded like you were married AND the mother wasn't the wife

[BrilloPad]

If dealing with the CSA, make you sure you request all your records under the data protection act every 42 days.

And try overpaying them by a pound! Sends their systems into a spasm.

[EternalOptimist]

I made my arrangements without involving the csa. but that was a long time ago, maybe someone with more recent experience can help you better

[SupremeSpod]

Try "Mumsnet".

I do still have an account on there left over from the hols as it happens, but I suspect the responses might not be all that helpful.

Maybe even less helpful than CUK, I know.... it's mental to think that could even be possible

"Mumsnet" might help him establish what the mother of his child's motives are. By looking at other posts of a similar ilk he should be able to work out whether she's being punitive or genuinely acting in the child's interest.

The grassy knoll bit was meant to be a joke to lighten the mood.

[fullyautomatix]

"Mumsnet" might help him establish what the mother of his child's motives are. By looking at other posts of a similar ilk he should be able to work out whether she's being punitive or genuinely acting in the child's interest.

The grassy knoll bit was meant to be a joke to lighten the mood.

On mumsnet, to get a good response, he should post as the mother of the child. They will then tell him to fleece the bastard out of every penny he has got, nick his house and his clothes and shoes and kick him out etc etc. They really are a disturbed lot in there.

[Gibbon]

As it happens the CSA rate equates almost exactly to 15 of net, and no, I don't think that's too much. Just to be clear, I am not trying to dodge/minimise/be mean etc. Other half is proposing more like 22-30% and I'm trying to decide what is fair. I realise it may seem daft asking on here, but there might just be some more folk with experience and of course this won't be the only place I look.

She can propose all she likes but you only have to cough up the 15%. Any more is discretionary and entirely up to you. If I was you I would pay the 15% straightaway and use the other for school trips and other directly visible things as and when YOU feel it's appropriate. (That's what I did BTW)

[BrilloPad]

She can propose all she likes but you only have to cough up the 15%. Any more is discretionary and entirely up to you. If I was you I would pay the 15% straightaway and use the other for school trips and other directly visible things as and when YOU feel it's appropriate. (That's what I did BTW)

And pay it directly. Don't involve the CSA - save on fees.

[chef]

She can propose all she likes but you only have to cough up the 15%. Any more is discretionary and entirely up to you. If I was you I would pay the 15% straightaway and use the other for school trips and other directly visible things as and when YOU feel it's appropriate. (That's what I did BTW)

I think that was the intention of the OPs original post, to get a general idea of what others do, NOT trying to dodge paying but more to understand what is fair, what range of % is normal.

I have less than zero experience in this field because, as far as i am aware, I have not yet fathered a child (queue the "bullets not firing", "fathering your right hand is not possible" jokes).

The way I see it, the problem seems to be like pocket money. Asking a group of adults what pocket money you should give your child because your child is asking for more. You'll never get an agreed amount. It essentially comes down to personal choice, what do you think is fair.

However, having atleast a ball park figure of what others do would help the OP get a better idea of the range of normal.

[Underscore Pt2]

Bottom line - you pay what you have to in order to ensure you get the access you need\want. Personally i dont think i should pay anything as i have my kids half the time. But if i didnt pay she would make that difficult.
The cards are held by the women no matter who is right or wrong. Get her to agree and then get it in writing. The courts and the CSA dont give two hoots about Fathers.

I pay £500 per month per child. Its more than I should as i know thats not just spent on the children. But i can afford it and it means an easy life