Life is good when you dont have any kids

[Old Hack]

I'm sure some people do - but you don't admit it even to yourself.

I remember my ante-natal class, a couple from the previous classes came to talk about their experience, and the dad said it had taken him a couple of weeks to love the child. Very brave to admit to it.

I think it's common for men not to bond immediately with their offspring, but I'd find it hard to believe they didn't love the child.

[d000hg]

I remember my ante-natal class, a couple from the previous classes came to talk about their experience, and the dad said it had taken him a couple of weeks to love the child. Very brave to admit to it.

Absolutely. And it's far better to tell new/expecting parents this can be the case, so they don't torture themselves when having their baby isn't a magical bed of roses and they think this means they've failed.

[Harmonic]

Absolutely. And it's far better to tell new/expecting parents this can be the case, so they don't torture themselves when having their baby isn't a magical bed of roses and they think this means they've failed.

I agree. I've told any soon-to-be Dads that they can end up feeling like a spare part for the first six weeks as the new arrival just sleeps feeds and cries, especially if the baby's being breastfed. Then, just as you begin to wonder wtf you've let yourself in for, you get the first smile and everything feels so much better.

[MaryPoppins]

I dunno MP, you're the one with the knowledge here. You say you don't regret it but did you ever feel otherwise in the toughest bits, temporarily?

Not sure I'm the best person to ask. I struggled to feel anything at all for approximately 12 months after he'd been born. I felt as though someone had forced me to look after this small being, that didn't seem associated with me at all.

Three and a bit years in, I feel completely different - but it took a lot. It's definitely very difficult to admit - everyone's happy to discuss how 'hard' the practical stuff is, but the emotional side certainly feels taboo.

Phew! Bit deep.

[d000hg]

Not sure I'm the best person to ask. I struggled to feel anything at all for approximately 12 months after he'd been born. I felt as though someone had forced me to look after this small being, that didn't seem associated with me at all.

Three and a bit years in, I feel completely different - but it took a lot. It's definitely very difficult to admit - everyone's happy to discuss how 'hard' the practical stuff is, but the emotional side certainly feels taboo.

Phew! Bit deep.

Actually that's exactly the kind of thing I was wondering about and makes you exactly the right person to ask... if more people knew it wasn't unheard of to feel that way I think everyone would be better off.

[MaryPoppins]

Actually that's exactly the kind of thing I was wondering about and makes you exactly the right person to ask... if more people knew it wasn't unheard of to feel that way I think everyone would be better off.

Not sure many people feel as I did, actually.

[Cliphead]

Not sure many people feel as I did, actually.

You should have bought a puppy.

[d000hg]

Not sure many people feel as I did, actually.

But how would you know?!

[NotAllThere]

I didn't connect with my third-born for years. However, I have never regretted, not once, having any of my kids.

[shaunbhoy]

Not sure many people feel as I did, actually.

You may have been suffering from a bit of PND MP. Relatively common side effect. No long term damage though as far as I know.