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She's a cleaner, I'm a virgin (almost), she's offering it on a plate. Should I?

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    #81
    There is a reason why this joke is funny (very occasionally) :

    What's the difference between a woman and an washing machine?

    The washing machine doesn't follow you around when you have popped your load in it.


    Been there tried that went out with what looked like a normalish girl and she turned crazy (I didn't even bang her sister or best friend).

    You are starting knowing she is a little unbalanced.

    How would you live with yourself afterwards? Its a lot like rape unless you really want to fix her issues, not just a quick bunk up.
    Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

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      #82
      Originally posted by k2p2 View Post
      or googling with yahoo
      Or screwing with a phillips*.

      * Not to be confused with "screwing with philips" which is what Simon Cowell does on a Tuesday evening.*

      * Allegedly.
      "A life, Jimmy, you know what that is? It’s the s*** that happens while you’re waiting for moments that never come." -- Lester Freamon

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        #83
        Originally posted by vetran View Post
        There is a reason why this joke is funny (very occasionally) :

        What's the difference between a woman and an washing machine?

        The washing machine doesn't follow you around when you have popped your load in it.


        Been there tried that went out with what looked like a normalish girl and she turned crazy (I didn't even bang her sister or best friend).

        You are starting knowing she is a little unbalanced.

        How would you live with yourself afterwards? Its a lot like rape unless you really want to fix her issues, not just a quick bunk up.
        The woman who used to live above me in a previous place was a bit crazy. You could detect a slight tremor in her voice when she spoke, and she always seemed very on edge.

        We heard her upstairs with various different guys every so often, frantic bed gymnastics, inevitably followed an hour or so later by a blazing row, the high-pitchedness of which I've never heard the likes of anywhere else.
        "A life, Jimmy, you know what that is? It’s the s*** that happens while you’re waiting for moments that never come." -- Lester Freamon

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          #84
          yep must admit the sex was GOOD!

          It was the stuff that came with it.
          Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

          Comment


            #85
            WAIT!

            Don't pay any money just yet, you might get a tax break soon, for more info read this great thread here: http://forums.contractoruk.com/gener...thousands.html

            Comment


              #86
              BUMP
              Science isn't about why, it's about why not. You ask: why is so much of our science dangerous? I say: why not marry safe science if you love it so much. In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out, because you are fired. - Cave Johnson

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                #87
                Originally posted by KentPhilip View Post
                But I'm not seeing her till Friday

                Big night tonight KP. Another quick lesson from mousetrap - remember getting it out after years of not playing? The rubber band had inevitably perished, meaning you had to operate the crank by hand, which, whilst having the same outcome lacked the satisfaction of doing it properly.

                So if you're still carrying round the condom you got given in your sex education lesson at school, and don't want to settle for cranking by hand, a trip to the chemist is probably in order.

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                  #88
                  maybe change the bedsheets aswell? lying on a layer of crusty, solidified baby batter/pot noodle juice is never high up on most ladies wish list.
                  The proud owner of 125 Xeno Geek Points

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                    #89
                    Also, make sure you post a blow by blow account on cuk. Women find that very sexy.

                    Comment


                      #90
                      Originally posted by k2p2 View Post
                      Big night tonight KP. Another quick lesson from mousetrap - remember getting it out after years of not playing? The rubber band had inevitably perished, meaning you had to operate the crank by hand, which, whilst having the same outcome lacked the satisfaction of doing it properly.

                      So if you're still carrying round the condom you got given in your sex education lesson at school, and don't want to settle for cranking by hand, a trip to the chemist is probably in order.
                      Yes, and those shops really were called chemist shops when I got mine. None of this ""pharmacy" nonsense.

                      Tonight is still on

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