She's a cleaner, I'm a virgin (almost), she's offering it on a plate. Should I?

[TestMangler]

maybe change the bedsheets aswell? lying on a layer of crusty, solidified baby batter/pot noodle juice is never high up on most ladies wish list.

You've obviously never been to the Isle Of Bute.....

[northernladyuk]

maybe change the bedsheets aswell? lying on a layer of crusty, solidified baby batter/pot noodle juice is never high up on most ladies wish list.

That's aspirational at NLUK towers.

[TestMangler]

Big night tonight KP. Another quick lesson from mousetrap - remember getting it out after years of not playing? The rubber band had inevitably perished, meaning you had to operate the crank by hand, which, whilst having the same outcome lacked the satisfaction of doing it properly.

So if you're still carrying round the condom you got given in your sex education lesson at school, and don't want to settle for cranking by hand, a trip to the chemist is probably in order.

My Mrs made my lunch yesterday. I took one bite out of the sandwich and spat it out in disgust.

I asked the Mrs what the f**k was on them and she replied "Crab paste". I asked her where she got it and she said "Boots The Chemist".

[northernladyuk]

My Mrs made my lunch yesterday. I took one bite out of the sandwich and spat it out in disgust.

I asked the Mrs what the f**k was on them and she replied "Crab paste". I asked her where she got it and she said "Boots The Chemist".

That reminds me of when the old man and I were on intimate terms. We've always been partial to Shipman's products, so anytime he was worried I'd picked up somehting unpleasant at work, he'd smear me with crab paste, and if he'd put on a few too many pounds, I'd smear him with bloater paste. It always felt more considerate than directly pointing it out, and spared our feelings. And we always looked forward to a post-Christmas 'Fat Crab' erotic cocktail to see us through those dreary January evenings.

[TimberWolf]

Why risk General when you can stay safe with mutual Light Relief.

[northernladyuk]

Why risk General when you can stay safe with mutual Light Relief.

I prefer Business / Contracts.

[KentPhilip]

Big night tonight KP. Another quick lesson from mousetrap - remember getting it out after years of not playing? The rubber band had inevitably perished, meaning you had to operate the crank by hand, which, whilst having the same outcome lacked the satisfaction of doing it properly.

So if you're still carrying round the condom you got given in your sex education lesson at school, and don't want to settle for cranking by hand, a trip to the chemist is probably in order.

Well I went for it.

LAID

hehe

[KimberleyChris]

Hallelujah - Choir of King's College, Cambridge live performance of Handel's Messiah - YouTube

[bless 'em all]

Well I went for it.

LAID

hehe

If I may point out: Worthless without pictures.

[Freamon]

Well I went for it.

LAID

hehe

<Prepares for steady stream of wilmslow-like posts about forthcoming dramas>