******* children!!!!

[eek]

It always is.

Not always. You may need piriton as well if its a rash.

MF reminds me of the husband of my wife's best friend. Away for their christmas shopping weekend he phoned 30 times with minor queries regarding food, tv programs.... I spoke once having confirmed and triple checked exactly what the girls wanted for christmas.

[DaveB]

It always is.

WMPS +1.

Doesnt matter what the problem is, Calpol is the answer.

[Old Greg]

WMPS +1.

Doesnt matter what the problem is, Calpol is the answer.

Agreed. Unless the problem is a Calpol overdose.

[eek]

Agreed. Unless the problem is a Calpol overdose.

The solution to that is to use Calpol ipuprofen.

[OwlHoot]

So thanks for nothing CUK. The answer was Calpol!

If it happens again, give them each a tot of brandy.

That's what my nanny gave me at that age, and apparently it works wonders.

[Paddy]

[QUOTE=MF]

Massive presentation in the morning. Had four hours to finish. Missus gone out!

******* kids one after the other up screaming!

Is there a particular length of time you can apply a pillow over a face without it being fatal? QUOTE]

There is a low voltage taser you can buy for stunning kids. It’s harmless and just stuns them for about ten minutes.

[cailin maith]

There is a low voltage taser you can buy for stunning kids. It’s harmless and just stuns them for about ten minutes.

but

[stek]

On of my Plan B's is to develop my Baby Clamp, designed to prevent 'twisted nappy syndrome' where the little sod spins round just as you attach the second and decisive fastener. A simple metal frame with hand and feet restraints. Kid gets up and wanders off with a wonky nappy but not with Stek's Patent Baby Clamp.

My ex-colleague developed a fool proof method of combatting toddler child-seat body-arcing, where the little swine refuses to sit in the seat properly, arches it's body right out making it impossible to buckle-up the restraints. Discovered by accident initially, you basically crack the kids head on the car door frame as you put him/her into the carseat, kid doubles up in pain and fits the seat perfectly, buckle up quickly before kid realises it's been duped.

[Sockpuppet]

Sound proof the cupboard under the stairs and chuck them in there with duvets and pillows and maybe some food.

Plus they'll think they're about to be rescued by Wizards.

[doodab]

It is no wonder the world is in such a mess.