I sh1tted myself at work today

[Spacecadet]

What is the past particple of to tulip? Is is tulipted or shat? Or just tulip?

shipped

how else are the tulips supposed to get here from Amsterdam?

[EternalOptimist]

Poor EO It's not nice.

But don't worry, we won't judge you, stinky.

I left me undies behind.


I was bollock naked behind that van, someone pulled out of the carpark, plus its overlooked by a row of houses.

oh the shame

[Churchill]

Poor EO It's not nice.

But don't worry, we won't judge you.

Best regards,

Stinky.

FTFY.

[cailin maith]

I left me undies behind.


I was bollock naked behind that van, someone pulled out of the carpark, plus its overlooked by a row of houses.

oh the shame

FTFY.

[doodab]

I left me undies behind.


I was bollock naked behind that van, someone pulled out of the carpark, plus its overlooked by a row of houses.

oh the shame

If you were going to ditch the pants anyway why didn't you just wipe your arse on them and go back to work?

I had a similar happening once, made it into a starbucks and when I was finished there was no paper. I found the number in yell or whatever and I tried ringing the shop but no one answered. I had just bought that months PC Pro so I tore a few pages out of that, but it was fairly ineffective so did as best I could, finished up with my undies, stuck them in the bin and popped into M&S to pick up some more.

[MarillionFan]

I left me undies behind.


I was bollock naked behind that van, someone pulled out of the carpark, plus its overlooked by a row of houses.

oh the shame

Hang on a second. All for the sake of a small toilet in the workplace, you're telling us that you decided to wonder out onto the high street where they are making a telly program, hide behind some cars in a car park, strip bollock naked, defecate and smear excrement into your naked body and clothes???

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I put it to you with 100% proof that the accused Mr Eternal Optimist is none other than the poster known as Wilmslow.

I rest my case!

[EternalOptimist]

If you were going to ditch the pants anyway why didn't you just wipe your arse on them and go back to work?

Well, if its details you want...

The last two yards to my semi-hidden position, were of me waddling like a penguin tring to write his name with apencil that is stuck up his bum.

and the exposion happened as the keks were coming off, so everything was splattered, undies, keks, boots, coat , hands. No disguising it, I had to beat a hasty.

I'm going to get the car valletted tomorrow

[wurzel]

You have my heartfelt sympathy. Been in a similar place myself.

A few years ago I went a boating on the river Thames and found myself caught short. Nothing untoward going on downstairs or anything, just needed to go. So, went below and found a bucket. Perfect. Washed my hands and went back up to the deck where I was going to discharge the contents of the bucket into the river and then swill it out. Being the clumsy oaf that I am, I slipped and the bucket disappeared over the gunwhales and started floating out midstream.

Grabbing the nearest length of wood, I stretched out and tried to hook the bucket and bring it back in. As luck would have it, just at this moment another boat hove into view coming from the opposite direction and the occupants thereof seeing my predicament decided to come to my assistance with a much longer pole then the one I had. One that actually reached its target.

Despite my pleas to desist, they proceeded to haul it in and the moment at which they came face to face with the grisly contents has to be the biggest tumbleweed moment of all time.

[MarillionFan]

You have my heartfelt sympathy. Been in a similar place myself.

A few years ago I went a boating on the river Thames and found myself caught short. Nothing untoward going on downstairs or anything, just needed to go. So, went below and found a bucket. Perfect. Washed my hands and went back up to the deck where I was going to discharge the contents of the bucket into the river and then swill it out. Being the clumsy oaf that I am, I slipped and the bucket disappeared over the gunwhales and started floating out midstream.

Grabbing the nearest length of wood, I stretched out and tried to hook the bucket and bring it back in. As luck would have it, just at this moment another boat hove into view coming from the opposite direction and the occupants thereof seeing my predicament decided to come to my assistance with a much longer pole then the one I had. One that actually reached its target.

Despite my pleas to desist, they proceeded to haul it in and the moment at which they came face to face with the grisly contents has to be the biggest tumbleweed moment of all time.

LOL

[d000hg]

When you mentioned the filming I figured this was going to end you pooing in a fake toilet in a set. Like running into B&Q and doing a big 'un in the show bathroom.