I sh1tted myself at work today

[OwlHoot]

When you mentioned the filming I figured this was going to end you pooing in a fake toilet in a set. Like running into B&Q and doing a big 'un in the show bathroom.

I guessed he'd find a rickety portaloo in the nick of time, but as he reached for the bog roll all the walls and doors would fall flat, exposing him to the whole cast of Corrie street and a dumbstruck film crew along with a couple of hundred grinning spectators with cameras.

But it didn't turn out like that.

[SimonMac]

Whats the ettiqute in a situation where you see someone heading into the trap you just stunk out with a throughly impressive jobbie, do you warn them or giggle at their impending retching?

[MaryPoppins]

I found the number in yell or whatever and I tried ringing the shop but no one answered.

This entire thread has cheered me, but that particular bit has tickled me for some reason.

My mate was driving cross country following a heavy night, having had his usual Maccy D's breakfast on the way. While stuck in a traffic jam, he got the cramps to indicate he needed to evacuate his bowels very quickly. He tells this story brilliantly, because he gets distressed even thinking about it.

He said he knew it was coming so decided he had to get out of his car, which he did. He grabbed the Maccys paper bag and waddled to the side of the road, thinking there would be a ditch he could hide in.

No such luck, and with barely enough time to unfasten his trousers, he was forced to squat on the grass verge next to the queue of cars. As his bowels violently emptied all over the grass, he saw with dismay the horrified faces of the kids in the people carrier in front of his car. He mouthed 'sorry' to them as he squatted, which tickles me to this day.

[EternalOptimist]

This entire thread has cheered me, but that particular bit has tickled me for some reason.

My mate was driving cross country following a heavy night, having had his usual Maccy D's breakfast on the way. While stuck in a traffic jam, he got the cramps to indicate he needed to evacuate his bowels very quickly. He tells this story brilliantly, because he gets distressed even thinking about it.

He said he knew it was coming so decided he had to get out of his car, which he did. He grabbed the Maccys paper bag and waddled to the side of the road, thinking there would be a ditch he could hide in.

No such luck, and with barely enough time to unfasten his trousers, he was forced to squat on the grass verge next to the queue of cars. As his bowels violently emptied all over the grass, he saw with dismay the horrified faces of the kids in the people carrier in front of his car. He mouthed 'sorry' to them as he squatted, which tickles me to this day.

Thats exactly it. you know it's a 'keks on, or keks off. its coming either way' decision

[MaryPoppins]

Thats exactly it. you know it's a 'keks on, or keks off. its coming either way' decision

Violent and unpredictable squits. The best kind.

Sounds like you got yourself in a right old state. I, for one, am pleased, because it's given me a good giggle.

[EternalOptimist]

Violent and unpredictable squits. The best kind.

Sounds like you got yourself in a right old state. I, for one, am pleased, because it's given me a good giggle.

As I squatted, in a public car park, in full view, I had the horrible thought that some cyclist would come round the corner and try to park his mountain bike in the cleft of my dainty cheeks

[darmstadt]

During conscription for WWII, there were nine documented cases of men with three testicles.

[mudskipper]

When I was about 14, I went on a school skiiing trip to Switzerland. My bowels never travel well and tend to go on strike when away from home. So after 8 days, we're heading home on the coach and I haven't been for a week. The coach had no toilet, and we were on a tight schedule, so driver refused to stop. My digestive system, sensing home approaching, decided to go into overdrive. A few gut-wringingly foul smells (which I denied) then the inevitable explosion. There was no denying that one. For the rest of my school life I was the girl who shat herself on the bus. It's one of the main reasons I left school at 16...

[MaryPoppins]

When I was about 14, I went on a school skiiing trip to Switzerland. My bowels never travel well and tend to go on strike when away from home. So after 8 days, we're heading home on the coach and I haven't been for a week. The coach had no toilet, and we were on a tight schedule, so driver refused to stop. My digestive system, sensing home approaching, decided to go into overdrive. A few gut-wringingly foul smells (which I denied) then the inevitable explosion. There was no denying that one. For the rest of my school life I was the girl who shat herself on the bus. It's one of the main reasons I left school at 16...

[norrahe]

When I was about 14, I went on a school skiiing trip to Switzerland. My bowels never travel well and tend to go on strike when away from home. So after 8 days, we're heading home on the coach and I haven't been for a week. The coach had no toilet, and we were on a tight schedule, so driver refused to stop. My digestive system, sensing home approaching, decided to go into overdrive. A few gut-wringingly foul smells (which I denied) then the inevitable explosion. There was no denying that one. For the rest of my school life I was the girl who shat herself on the bus. It's one of the main reasons I left school at 16...

don't blame you