Has anyone been to prison?

[lightng]

I did a stint in a boys offender unit when I was younger. It was called Borstal then.

Anyway on arrival, it was quite frightening, lots of jeering, testosterone etc

Anyway there was one lad who pretty much run the place and the governer would ask him to keep the lads in check. It wasnt long though before he started on me, so I decided to give him a little taste of his own medicine.

I took my socks off, double bagged them and put some pools balls in it. When he wasnt looking I cracked him really hard around the head with it and he went down like a sack of tulip.

I then turned to the crowd and said 'I'm the Daddy now. You do what I tell yeah'

Easy street after that.

Later in life I still think back to those days and thank them, otherwise I'd never have this fantastic career I have today.

Mine's a similar story to MF's really. When the lad who pretty much ran the place cornered me, I asked him "Where's yer tool?". He said "What tool?". I retorted "This ****ing tool!". Before he knew what was going on, I'd already whipped out my brand new Ipad and dazzled him by creating a powerpoint compatible slideshow, swish transitions, the lot, using only a few multi-touch gestures.

Suffice to say, from that day onwards, I was the daddy.

The end.

[xoggoth]

So where are the "Who's been in rehab?", "Who's been in a loony bin?" and "Who's been a rent boy/prossie?" threads? You lot are slipping.

[Zippy]

So where are the "Who's been in rehab?", "Who's been in a loony bin?" and "Who's been a rent boy/prossie?" threads? You lot are slipping.

I used to be a rent boy and then I had the operation. I was robbed.

[Menelaus]

Yes (as you all know)

I've spent an hour or so whilst at work* reflecting on whether or not to reply to this, and have decided that I'll bite, so here's a few bits of reflection:

1. It gives someone in there for their first (and only) time a chance to reflect on past misdeeds and to plan for the future. HMP Pentonville is not a holiday camp, despite what the media might say, and whilst cells contain a variety of "nice-to-haves" (e.g., TV, kettle) they are shared with other prisoners (typically) and the washing / sanitation facilities are basic, to say the least.

2. Helps if you can work whilst you're there - I was working there from the week after I arrived until the day before I left (although I was only there for 40 days) in the education wing, helping others learn how to use simple products like Word, Excel, PowerPoint and Access and also - in a number of cases - helping prisoners get ready for qualifications in maths and English.

3. If for whatever reason you can't work then you should be involved in education as much as possible. I met some people there through my work in education that I'd hope would not re-offend on release - by the same token, I've also met people there who I feel almost certain will re-offend

4. Someone mentioned segregation in the posts above? Segregation does exist with those prisoners who are being segregated receiving no association (e.g., being able to mingle with other prisoners) whatsoever. So at risk are those in the segregation wing that education is brought to them - rather than the other way around)

5. There are a lot of drugs in prison, and I was offered them on more than one occasion, turning them down at every opportunity. That having been said, random drug tests are performed on a regular basis (albeit on a voluntary basis, unless there's a reason for suspicion).

6. Punishment blocks within the prison exist for those caught with contraband: for example, a member of the education team had been caught with bits of a mobile phone during a "cell spin" (e.g., when a cell is searched by officers). He swallowed the SIM card and was held in punishment until he'd passed the SIM card.

7. The food's of average quality: the budget for feeding the guard dogs daily is allegedly higher than it is for feeding inmates. That having been said, who the heck wants Gordon Ramsay?

8. Staff are (with certain exceptions), on the whole, friendly and professional. They recognised (in my case, at least) that it was my first time and that it was a complete and total culture shock for me and that - without my medication at my regular dose - I was likely to be headed to the Maudsley (look it up).

9. Being on a smaller wing (in my case, B-wing) has massive advantages over being on a larger wing. These advantages are not so much to do with the geographical size of the wing but that the wing itself is segregated from the general population by being only those prisoners doing short sentences, in for their first time and likely to be leaving shortly. As a consequence it's the smallest general wing (half the size of the next smallest) excluding segregation and it's possible to develop a close working relationship with the officers there.

10. Overall all, two bits of impression I'm left with are:

(a) don't go to prison if you can avoid it
(b) despite 10(a), it's not as bad as one might fear

* I'm still working - despite being benched for a couple of months on release - and I know that this is likely to upset some people.

[chef]

now that's a reply I wasn't expecting..

[mudskipper]

Long post

Good for you - it sounds like you made the best of a situation that hopefully most of us will never find ourselves in. I for one wish you all the best in moving on.

A close friend of mine also found himself doing three months - unfortunately his experience was less positive than yours; he was at HMP Winchester which was severely overcrowded, and was locked in the cell for 23 hours a day - no education or work opportunities for 'short term' inmates and he was bordering on the suicidal. It did however have the desirable effect of making him never want to go back.

[wurzel]

So no gorillas in the mist then?

[cojak]

Good for you - it sounds like you made the best of a situation that hopefully most of us will never find ourselves in. I for one wish you all the best in moving on.

A close friend of mine also found himself doing three months - unfortunately his experience was less positive than yours; he was at HMP Winchester which was severely overcrowded, and was locked in the cell for 23 hours a day - no education or work opportunities for 'short term' inmates and he was bordering on the suicidal. It did however have the desirable effect of making him never want to go back.

Yep...

[TimberWolf]

So no gorillas in the mist then?

Hairy armed blokes in the shower?

[TimberWolf]

Good for you - it sounds like you made the best of a situation that hopefully most of us will never find ourselves in. I for one wish you all the best in moving on.

A close friend of mine also found himself doing three months - unfortunately his experience was less positive than yours; he was at HMP Winchester which was severely overcrowded, and was locked in the cell for 23 hours a day - no education or work opportunities for 'short term' inmates and he was bordering on the suicidal. It did however have the desirable effect of making him never want to go back.

'friend'

(just kidding)