First Date. Terrible. Sigh.

[EternalOptimist]

do while not.EndOfEvening

If Dodgy chat up lines = true then enchanted = enchanted -1
If rubbishy seduction technique = true then Arousal = arousal -1

If sense of humour bypass = true then BeatAHasty = true:Exit loop

Loop

[NickFitz]

do while not.EndOfEvening

If Dodgy chat up lines = true then enchanted = enchanted -1
If rubbishy seduction technique = true then Arousal = arousal -1

If sense of humour bypass = true then BeatAHasty = true:Exit loop

Loop

/**
    NB: this code uses the new human-aware pseudo-Booleans 
        taking values such as "perhaps"
*/

var woman = {
    enchanted: perhaps,
    aroused: possibly,
    stiletto: WeaponOfMassDestructionFactory.create(Woman.shoe.stiletto)
};

var man = {
    chatUpLines: inadequate,
    seductionTechnique: rubbish,
    senseOfHumour: false,
    head: UselessAndUnsightlyLumpOfOrganicMatterFactory.create(Man.head)
};

var taxi = {
    call: function(callback) {
        Thread.run(function() {
            var thereYet = false;
            while (!thereYet) {
                thereYet = Taxi.accelerateThroughRedLights(this); 
                // static method, returns either true or 
                // "he's just around the corner, he'll be with you any second"
                // (== false)
            }
            callback();
        });
    },
    fleeIn: function() {
        Taxi.vroom(this);
    }
};

var retreat = {
    beat: function() {
        taxi.call(function() {
            taxi.fleeIn();
        });
        woman.stiletto.apply(man.head);
    }
};


while (evening) {
    woman.enchanted = man.chatUpLines != inadequate;
    woman.arousal = man.seductionTechnique != rubbish;
    if (!man.senseOfHumour) {
        retreat.beat();
        break;
   }
}

[eliquant]

I have never really done "dating", that's quite sad isn't it. Ex was a friend, so it never really happened.

So, last night, I got back in the game.

Started off fine, but then he began saying how we should go back to his when the pub closes, so he can play me his guitar. Cue many elbow nudges from me, nudge nudge, wink wink. Turns out he doesn't have much of a sense of humour (strike one) and insists that he is a great guitar player and would love to play for me. I squirm uncomfortably as I realise he's serious.

A couple of drinks later, I'm wobbling around putting my coat on and everything has a rosy glow - of course I will go back to his to listen to him play the guitar; perhaps I even fancy him a bit more now - what the heck.

However in the taxi on the way there, I start to sober up a bit, and realise I am beginning to regret my decision.

I fully regret my decision soon enough.

He insists I sit on the sofa "come on, get comfy!" while he actually does go and get an acoustic guitar. My heart sinks as he then stands directly in front of me, one leg up on the sofa (affording me a very uncomfortable view).

He begins to play a ropey version of some Oasis song, while I squirm and wish I was at home in my jimmers. He then grabs a song book and throws it to me, still playing, and tells me to "sing along".

Lord, no. I beat a hasty retreat and only felt slightly bad this morning when I thought about how rude I'd been.

Judging by his miffed text message, I think I was in the minority of females who have not been seduced by this piffle.

Anyone else care to share bad date stories?

Sounds bad, sounds like a guy who needs 'an instrument' to impress the ladies, I bet he read somewhere be a musician - the chicks will dig that !

[Tingles]

He should have 'strummed' on the tenth date after NOT mentioning he could play the guitar.

Added mystery.

MP swoon.

[EternalOptimist]

He should have 'strummed' on the tenth date after NOT mentioning he could play the guitar.

Added mystery.

MP swoon.

good point. I have been married eleven years and the missus still doesn't know about 'my secret talent'

[Tingles]

good point. I have been married eleven years and the missus still doesn't know about 'my secret talent'

Confession is good for the soul, so they say.

The field is yours Sir.

[suityou01]

good point. I have been married eleven years and the missus still doesn't know about 'my secret talent'

If you put one leg on the floor it dampens the rocking motion of the bed. I believe in Viz parlance it's known as an outrigger.

HTH

[Evil Hangover]

/**
    NB: this code uses the new human-aware pseudo-Booleans 
        taking values such as "perhaps"
*/

var woman = {
    enchanted: perhaps,
    aroused: possibly,
    stiletto: WeaponOfMassDestructionFactory.create(Woman.shoe.stiletto)
};

var man = {
    chatUpLines: inadequate,
    seductionTechnique: rubbish,
    senseOfHumour: false,
    head: UselessAndUnsightlyLumpOfOrganicMatterFactory.create(Man.head)
};

var taxi = {
    call: function(callback) {
        Thread.run(function() {
            var thereYet = false;
            while (!thereYet) {
                thereYet = Taxi.accelerateThroughRedLights(this); 
                // static method, returns either true or 
                // "he's just around the corner, he'll be with you any second"
                // (== false)
            }
            callback();
        });
    },
    fleeIn: function() {
        Taxi.vroom(this);
    }
};

var retreat = {
    beat: function() {
        taxi.call(function() {
            taxi.fleeIn();
        });
        woman.stiletto.apply(man.head);
    }
};


while (evening) {
    woman.enchanted = man.chatUpLines != inadequate;
    woman.arousal = man.seductionTechnique != rubbish;
    if (!man.senseOfHumour) {
        retreat.beat();
        break;
   }
}

get a life !

[OrangeHopper]

Be thankful he didn't take you down the local park and show you how to cast a fly line.

[EternalOptimist]

Confession is good for the soul, so they say.

The field is yours Sir.

I can do a mean blue-vein steak