Breakdowns; heavy, man

[NotAllThere]

pokes head above the parapet....

NotAllThere,

'finally put to rest the abuse I'd received (and accepted!) as a permie ',


what kind of abuse and who from ?


Milan.

Managers. One pillock said "Remember who pays your mortgage". Desipte resolving 80% of the issues that came in (for a team of 4), I wasn't pulling my weight because I left at 5pm to go home where my wife and new sprog were waiting. And the contract specified a 37 hour week, and I started at 8:30.

Sadly, none of my female coworkers felt the urge to sexually harass me. Well, not sadly, given their lack of feminine features.

[Menelaus]

Just my £0.02 worth - but I've had both.

My depression has been a constant companion for me since 1994; I'm pretty sure that I know what kicked it off but I know that if I discuss it openly then I'll open myself up for some (quite well deserved) abuse, so won't.

With hindsight my depression was becoming progressively worse over time despite, in 2004, taking some SNRI meds for a while then giving them up when my prescription ran out (note: do not quit cold from venlafaxine it's not a good idea).

Reflecting now, the chap that I was in 1994 and the chap that I was in 2007 (see below) were two totally different people. The man in 1994 was a smart-arse but a nerd of the Big Bang Theory (Channel4) type. The 2007 version was a smart-arse nerd but without the redeeming feature of being able to poke fun at himself; in short, a tulip of the highest order.

The breakdown started in July 2007 after my marriage brokedown. I did and said some utterly, utterly stupid things and became delusional for a while. My wife (who had done a runner as a direct consequence of my being a nutter) now would have nothing whatsoever to do with me and I did some truly awful things, painful things that I was unaware of have done at the time, beyond being reminded of them now.

Treatment for me continues; I have a community psychiatric nurse provided by the NHS who I can ring any time of the day or night. I go to see a psychiatrist on a private patient basis regularly and I'm now up to 300mg daily of those happy SNRIs.

And I saw my (now ex-) wife again today in a social setting and feel that my treatments' taken a definite backward step.

[DaveB]

Since we are in confessional mode.

2 years of undiagnosed depression ending up in a psychotic episode, followed by some serious medical intervention, all resulting in the break up of my marriage. Which as it turned out was the cause of the depression to begin with. Silver linings and all that.

7 years later the depression is still there, lurking in the background and occasionally it comes out to play and I turn into a miserable, self obsessed git for a couple of months while I wait for the drugs to kick in.

I've tried talking therapies in the past and for whatever reason they just didnt seem to work, maybe I'm just too cynical / stubborn to let them.

These days I'm happy, if thats the right word, to look on each episode as just another illness like the flu or a stomach bug. It's crap while it's happening but if I take the pills and look after myself it gets better in due course.

The trouble now is that my drug of choice ( Paroxetine ) now appears to be giving me some nasty side effects, which is a git as the other main contenders for the job ( Prozac and Citalopram ) don't really do much for me.

GP and I are waiting for the next episode to arrive so we can try out some other alternatives.

[NotAllThere]

...
GP and I are waiting for the next episode to arrive so we can try out some other alternatives.

Anything we can do to help trigger it?

[original PM]

smoke a big bag of weeed

according to the Daily Mail that should turn you loopy

[Diver]

never had one, but it sounds like the perfect antidote to the stupid 'I am invincible' 'I am perfect' attitude that fckd me up till I was about 40

Only till you were about 40?



Yes EO, You are one of the most stable sensible guys I know

It's keeping it in that drives people over the edge. A good outlet is needed. Boxing is a good one, most of the oriental martial arts (Karate etc.) are not (Too centred on control).
Alternatively, you could get into a bar brawl which is a good release, but highly risky.

If something is eating at you, get it out. If you are too afraid of losing your job to do it, you need to find another quickly, because that is part of the problem.

I think my self calming measure of waiting for the d'heads outside of the workplace and having a chat with them in private has helped to keep me sane over the years.
Lost me a couple of jobs mind

[Cheshire Cat]

I'm bipolar. I don't medicate anymore. Didn't agree with me.
I have an "open prescription" in the event I need to
I've never had a breakdown as such, although one man's breakdown is another man's bad day at the office.
I maintain control through counselling, a good relationship, moderation of booze, healthy diet and exercise and, believe it or not, work. I found that when I was a student, boredom was often the catalyst for an episode.

[DaveB]

Anything we can do to help trigger it?

If nothing's happened by the end of the week I'll go read some threads in General. That should do the trick

[snaw]

smoke a big bag of weeed

according to the Daily Mail that should turn you loopy

loopy and affect your house price.

[KentPhilip]

...

7 years later the depression is still there, lurking in the background and occasionally it comes out to play and I turn into a miserable, self obsessed git for a couple of months while I wait for the drugs to kick in.

...

The trouble now is that my drug of choice ( Paroxetine ) now appears to be giving me some nasty side effects, which is a git as the other main contenders for the job ( Prozac and Citalopram ) don't really do much for me.

GP and I are waiting for the next episode to arrive so we can try out some other alternatives.

Have you tried Escitalopram? Its the S-enantiomer of Citalopram. Its what I take, and it kicks-ass.
What's good about it is that it starts to kick in faster than other SSRI's, and you start to notice it after as little as 5 days.