Confessions

[cailin maith]

Your mother killed a budgie - with malice aforethought - using a knitting needle?

I might use that one next time I am guilting her over it....

Yes and yes is the answer!

[Platypus]

That time I got arrested, then lied in court and got off. Well I did it.

[Cliphead]

Fishing rod spike, fishing line, fish hooks, bits of bread ... on the lawn.

Amusement factor: 9/10

Bit of bread surrounding Na, launched into air, fought over briefly. No trouble spotting the winner.

Entertainment factor 10/10

[RichardCranium]

I might use that one next time I am guilting her over it....

Yes and yes is the answer!

My dad killed my big brother's pet bunny and we had it for Sunday dinner. But we were a big family and money was tight.

What was your mother's excuse?

[RichardCranium]

Bit of bread surrounding Na, launched into air, fought over briefly. No trouble spotting the winner.

Are you my brother?

[Cliphead]

Are you my brother?

Didn't make a habit of it, well not after the school caught me in the chemical store.

[RichardCranium]

Bit of bread surrounding Na, launched into air, fought over briefly. No trouble spotting the winner.

Was the effect as unpleasant, distressing and disconcertingly slow for the large bird as I suspect? Lots of flapping, screeching and general unhappiness?

[Cliphead]

Was the effect as unpleasant, distressing and disconcertingly slow for the large bird as I suspect? Lots of flapping, screeching and general unhappiness?

Yeah, it was funny at the time but I suffered pangs of guilt for years.

Fantastic yellow sparks though.

[cailin maith]

My dad killed my big brother's pet bunny and we had it for Sunday dinner. But we were a big family and money was tight.

What was your mother's excuse?

Clinically insane if you ask me - but she said the budgie was singing too loud...

[RichardCranium]

Yeah, it was funny at the time but I suffered pangs of guilt for years.

Fantastic yellow sparks though.

Well, if you were school age it must have been great. I would have enjoyed it at that age too.

Yellow sparks? Oh dear.


The birdies and the fishing line was entertaining. By allowing between 5 and 20 metres of line between the spike and the fish hook would determine how much speed the bird achieved on flying away.

Essentially, the longer the line, the more the bird would 'bounce back' when it ran out of line.

Large birds would not 'bounce back' properly, they just got their heads flipped back and they fell to the ground, a bit upset, before trying again.

Blackbirds just flapped about on the lawn, trying to eject the hook.

Smaller birds would do the take off / bounce back thing for quite a while before exhaustion finished them off. They gave best value.

Thankfully, I was merely a very young witness to this; it has helped me cope with the emotional repercussions, these 30-odd years later.