PCs, teenagers and breakages

[psychocandy]

Despite what NLUK think I'm not really a PC person.....
Looking for views from anyone else whos got a teenager especially one with aspergers (like my son).

Hes 18 now. Better than he was. Used to get wound up and smash things..... PEople online would annoy him, if the internet went down it was the end of the world etc. Hes been fine for years.

Recently though, we've had 3 faulty CPUs (they last 2-3 months), one mobo, several keyboards and mice. I was beginning to wonder.... Today "Accidentally bent wifi usb adaptor". Hmmmmm.....

Im beginning to wonder. Thats his mo - if wifi is slow, pull the adaptor out, ram it back in etc. Same with the pc, he has been known to kick it. Pretty sure thats whats caused all these cpu issues.

Anyone else relate? There does seem to be too many accidental breakages here.......
No good asking him he goes off on one and fronts up and gets aggressive. Long history of flat out lying and/or not admitting things.

Forgot to mention his mobile. Stopped charging. Got samsung to come around to repair it. MASSIVE water damage (despite me asking him that first up!) so not covered. He still swears they're wrong because he never dropped it in water. This sort of thing is VERY common with him, despite overwhelming evidence that hes lied, he will still front up deny it or blame something else.

Surely not all teenagers manage to wreck things so often?

[northernladuk]

You've answered your own question IMO. You've made the perfect case that PC junior is responsible for a lot more damage than average and that he's not taking responsibility for any of them as you've caught him lying without a shred of doubt.

Not sure what else you need. Yes he's damaging them and yes he's not telling the truth about damaging them and yes that's more than for your average teen.

Gotta say the latter is not as bad as an issue as it sounds. Over the years I've had keyboards propped up on paper as, erm, excessive downward forces cause the little legs to break and if you ask my other half she'll tell you I took them off as they were the wrong height for the keyboard.
There is a line between just avoiding a ticking off because it's not worth it and a fundamental issue with the truth though, but not uncommon in the youthful, or others for that matter. Quick changes in mood and anger is definitely part and parcel of Apsergers sadly so it's not his fault.

Answer to your question, do teenagers wreck things so often? Generally no. Are they truthful about it? Not always. Some stuff gets trashed due to fortnite, CoD yes but not that often IMO. Can't really comment on the aspergers element bar the well document problems they have dealing with emotions though. Does sound it's a huge factor though and not something you could blame him for.

Why not drop Marillionfan a PM? He's in a similar situation is he not?

[psychocandy]

You've answered your own question IMO. You've made the perfect case that PC junior is responsible for a lot more damage than average and that he's not taking responsibility for any of them as you've caught him lying without a shred of doubt.

Not sure what else you need. Yes he's damaging them and yes he's not telling the truth about damaging them and yes that's more than for your average teen.

Gotta say the latter is not as bad as an issue as it sounds. Over the years I've had keyboards propped up on paper as, erm, excessive downward forces cause the little legs to break and if you ask my other half she'll tell you I took them off as they were the wrong height for the keyboard.
There is a line between just avoiding a ticking off because it's not worth it and a fundamental issue with the truth though, but not uncommon in the youthful, or others for that matter. Quick changes in mood and anger is definitely part and parcel of Apsergers sadly so it's not his fault.

Answer to your question, do teenagers wreck things so often? Generally no. Are they truthful about it? Not always. Some stuff gets trashed due to fortnite, CoD yes but not that often IMO. Can't really comment on the aspergers element bar the well document problems they have dealing with emotions though. Does sound it's a huge factor though and not something you could blame him for.

Why not drop Marillionfan a PM? He's in a similar situation is he not?

Cheers NLUK. All joking aside it is indeed tough to deal with a teen with aspergers. In the beginning, I doubtless did it all wrong.

Worse thing I think is the time I spend not knowing the full story. The first time the CPU failed I spent hours and hours (and money) swapping out DIMMs. mobos etc. Of course, if he'd told me he'd kicked the PC a few times it would have made me think. Same with his mobile, the repair guys asking me "no deffo no water damage has occurred". Then it has. Made me look a right dick

I'd actually prefer if he told the truth even if it was "oops sorry I punted the PC across the room".

In the past, when we entered his lair the cupboard door was smashed in half pretty much (held together by masking tape). He denied all knowledge. He didnt punch it at all apparently. it just broke one day. His little sister is 8 so I doubt she did it!

His defence is always "wasnt me" then when you point out the evidence, he fronts up gets aggressive and "you never believe me!". Its nuts but I guess thats aspergers for you.

[northernladuk]

His defence is always "wasnt me" then when you point out the evidence, he fronts up gets aggressive and "you never believe me!". Its nuts but I guess thats aspergers for you.

To be fair to him I'm sure every kid has tried this at some point, as do many adults so I don't think that process is purely an aspergers issue. I guess it will just be much more pronounced and regular.

[tazdevil]

Don't have children so can't comment on that but all that damage is gratuitous. My development machine which gets used 8hrs plus per day last had a new mobo and CPU in 2013 and is still good although I've recently replace the disks and one of the CPU cooler fans has just failed. At least he limits it to damaging stuff rather than you. I had a guy doing some tiling a while ago and he had a similar son but he had to keep his bedroom door locked as the son was threatening to murder his parents with an axe is better than . It's the long term that's the issue with these cases when parents aren't there to provide for them

[NotAllThere]

"I blame the parents".

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-09-...osis/100476422

Well, sort of. It seems that there are parent-led interventions that can significantly reduce autism diagnoses. Demonstrated in clinical trials. Shame they didn't know about this 18 years ago, hey?

[psychocandy]

Don't have children so can't comment on that but all that damage is gratuitous. My development machine which gets used 8hrs plus per day last had a new mobo and CPU in 2013 and is still good although I've recently replace the disks and one of the CPU cooler fans has just failed. At least he limits it to damaging stuff rather than you. I had a guy doing some tiling a while ago and he had a similar son but he had to keep his bedroom door locked as the son was threatening to murder his parents with an axe is better than . It's the long term that's the issue with these cases when parents aren't there to provide for them

Alas we had similar a few years ago when he decided to get physical with his mother..... Tough time indeed.

[psychocandy]

"I blame the parents".

https://www.abc.net.au/news/2021-09-...osis/100476422

Well, sort of. It seems that there are parent-led interventions that can significantly reduce autism diagnoses. Demonstrated in clinical trials. Shame they didn't know about this 18 years ago, hey?

Trouble is, as we found, you have a kid, their a bit strange, you've got nothing to compare with. Only with our 2nd child did we realise how "different" he was. We didn't even know until he as 11 or 12.

And don't get me going about child mental health provision. Appalling and they really dont care. Took about 4 years to even get a diagnoses off them.

Only progress we ever made was when we paid for a consultant privately. Got him on decent medication which REALLY worked for him. If it was not for that, I'd say he'd have been taken into care, left school and be on his way to living on the streets. As it is, hes still got issues, but hes doing A levels, got a girlfriend now. Going away to college may be a bit too much for him but hes better.

3-4 year ago he was violent. OK I probably didnt handle it well but you realise you can;t just chin you're aspergers teen. CAMHS (the nhs mental health people) were figgin useless throught all of this. I'd phone them after he'd smashed the house up, or the one time he assaulted his mother. All they say was "call the police then call social services". Neither of which would have helped I dont think. CAMHS is full of 9-5 (or more like 4) people who turn up take their salary and thats it.

[d000hg]

Blatant lying when it's utterly irrefutable is pretty common to kids... "I didn't eat the chocolate" when covered with it, etc. Or seeing a youth smash a bottle on the pavement and say "it wasn't me" it's an automatic response to lie in the first instance, it seems.
I'm sure we've all done it.

[vetran]

Blatant lying when it's utterly irrefutable is pretty common to kids... "I didn't eat the chocolate" when covered with it, etc. Or seeing a youth smash a bottle on the pavement and say "it wasn't me" it's an automatic response to lie in the first instance, it seems.
I'm sure we've all done it.

However that is what you have parents for. They need to educate you that lying is not effective certain parents are very good at teaching their kids.