Coming out as transracial

[DoctorStrangelove]

The world's gone mad & it isn't me.

[SueEllen]

The world's gone mad & it isn't me.

You thought you were mad but now you are sane....

[northernladuk]

You should identify someone as the gender identity they self identify.

Should you? I'm playing devils advocate here but should seems a bit strong. Lots of discussion around that, both pros and cons on top of what is polite/what isn't and what is science/what isn't on top of personal opinions as well. But should you do it? You don't have to if you don't want to surely? I know it sounds bigoted and rude to say that but there is always choice depending on your opinions and facts. Ben Shapiro talks about this a lot including that famous interview where a trans lady grips his neck and threatens to send him home in an ambulance. He's got some very controversial views but he does make some good points.

Should you do it in their company, should you when you are talking about them and they are not there? I think to say you 'should' is a bit, dunno the word, restrictive but you get my point? There has to be free speech and opinion even if it does offend some people.

[pr1]

Should you? I'm playing devils advocate here but should seems a bit strong. Lots of discussion around that, both pros and cons on top of what is polite/what isn't and what is science/what isn't on top of personal opinions as well. But should you do it? You don't have to if you don't want to surely? I know it sounds bigoted and rude to say that but there is always choice depending on your opinions and facts. Ben Shapiro talks about this a lot including that famous interview where a trans lady grips his neck and threatens to send him home in an ambulance. He's got some very controversial views but he does make some good points.

Should you do it in their company, should you when you are talking about them and they are not there? I think to say you 'should' is a bit, dunno the word, restrictive but you get my point? There has to be free speech and opinion even if it does offend some people.

Pipe down woman

[SueEllen]

Should you? I'm playing devils advocate here but should seems a bit strong. Lots of discussion around that, both pros and cons on top of what is polite/what isn't and what is science/what isn't on top of personal opinions as well. But should you do it? You don't have to if you don't want to surely? I know it sounds bigoted and rude to say that but there is always choice depending on your opinions and facts. Ben Shapiro talks about this a lot including that famous interview where a trans lady grips his neck and threatens to send him home in an ambulance. He's got some very controversial views but he does make some good points.

Should you do it in their company, should you when you are talking about them and they are not there? I think to say you 'should' is a bit, dunno the word, restrictive but you get my point? There has to be free speech and opinion even if it does offend some people.

Check your privilege! Educate yourself!

Man child you think it is OK to use free speech to slur minorities whether they are gender minority or not.


( I think I've included all the right on arguments that are used and make no logical sense. )

[d000hg]

Should you? I'm playing devils advocate here but should seems a bit strong. Lots of discussion around that, both pros and cons on top of what is polite/what isn't and what is science/what isn't on top of personal opinions as well. But should you do it? You don't have to if you don't want to surely?

I can tell you that deliberately 'mis-gendering' someone is considered very rude, many would call you far worse than that. Among the LBGT community there is absolutely no wiggle room, it's not a discussion.

As someone who has conservative views on this and has friends who, or have children who have changed their chosen pronouns, it is tricky to navigate.

[ladymuck]

I think if someone has expressed a preference then it would be discourteous to insist on addressing or referring to them in a different manner.

It's much like how some people don't like to have their name shortened or 'familiarised' in some way - not all Elizabeth's like to be called Liz or Beth, not all Henry's like to be called Harry. In some Latin American countries is very rude to not call a person by their full name if you are not a close friend or family member.

With non-binary or trans people it's easy to slip up and it takes a little bit of extra mental effort to use the right pronoun but it isn't hard. Many people are pragmatic and accept mistakes will be made, as long as it's clearly a mistake and not done out of spite.

[northernladuk]

I can tell you that deliberately 'mis-gendering' someone is considered very rude, many would call you far worse than that. Among the LBGT community there is absolutely no wiggle room, it's not a discussion.

As someone who has conservative views on this and has friends who, or have children who have changed their chosen pronouns, it is tricky to navigate.

Yeah I get that. Was just putting up a devils advocate point but yes going too far to purposely cause offence isn't acceptable. Without a doubt there is etiquette not to be rude even if you don't agree/understand so no need to purposely offend and antagonise. We've also got a close family friend who has changed their pronouns and it's very scary prospect trying to do the right thing to not cause offense yet it's so difficult. Sadly, said person is also very vocal about it so double pressure to get it absolutely right every time.

Not really a discussion for an online forum I guess so shouldn't have raised it.

[vetran]

Unless you are a Korean or other person from East Asian, particularly someone who is non-binary, as then you can call them out as having white privilege for saying they are transracial using your own story...

I think if someone has expressed a preference then it would be discourteous to insist on addressing or referring to them in a different manner.

It's much like how some people don't like to have their name shortened or 'familiarised' in some way - not all Elizabeth's like to be called Liz or Beth, not all Henry's like to be called Harry. In some Latin American countries is very rude to not call a person by their full name if you are not a close friend or family member.

With non-binary or trans people it's easy to slip up and it takes a little bit of extra mental effort to use the right pronoun but it isn't hard. Many people are pragmatic and accept mistakes will be made, as long as it's clearly a mistake and not done out of spite.

One set of our relatives have a transgender child F->M they found it difficult about changing to a more masculine after 20+ years they are really struggling with calling their daughter as Him. Their child and his partner are quite hard on them if they slip up.

[vetran]

Unless you are a Korean or other person from East Asian, particularly someone who is non-binary, as then you can call them out as having white privilege for saying they are transracial using your own story...

Yeah I get that. Was just putting up a devils advocate point but yes going too far to purposely cause offence isn't acceptable. Without a doubt there is etiquette not to be rude even if you don't agree/understand so no need to purposely offend and antagonise. We've also got a close family friend who has changed their pronouns and it's very scary prospect trying to do the right thing to not cause offense yet it's so difficult. Sadly, said person is also very vocal about it so double pressure to get it absolutely right every time.

Not really a discussion for an online forum I guess so shouldn't have raised it.

why not for an online forum? who would talk to people like this face to face?

I formulate & test opinions on here, I would probably never say such things to people's faces.