You are the Judge

[Whorty]

From memory today.

Mrs V - Purple/blueish jumper, black leggings & underwear none of your business.

Miss V3 - trolls onsie.

the others none of your business.

I notice, its important to them so I should make an effort.

It was never that important to Mrs W, she was happy I always knew what lingerie she was wearing! She just found it funny I think that I was so useless with everything else

Good on you though for doing what's right for your Mrs and kids If they get kidnapped, you'll get them back

[ladymuck]

I'm pretty rubbish at noticing what people are wearing (male or female). HWMBO is easy to spot cos he's so tall, which is handy, but he did admit to losing me in the basement of John Lewis on Oxford Street because there were so many women with brown hair in a Barbour jacket

This was around Christmas time one year when we were looking for stocking filler sweets and things so it was rather busy. We separated in a 'divide and conquer' manner to get it all done quicker.

[hobnob]

As a rule of thumb (for heterosexual men), imagine that one of your male colleagues was gay, and said/acted the same way towards you that you're acting towards a female colleague. Would that make you uncomfortable, especially in a workplace environment where you can't leave? If so, don't do it.

Regarding the "holding the door question", I think that if it would close before they get to it then I'll let it close. If it would still be half open at that point, I'll hold it open for them. However, the pandemic means that it's always better to let it close so that you can observe social distancing. (This applies regardless of who the other person is.)

[TwoWolves]

As a rule of thumb (for heterosexual men), imagine that one of your male colleagues was gay, and said/acted the same way towards you that you're acting towards a female colleague. Would that make you uncomfortable, especially in a workplace environment where you can't leave? If so, don't do it.

Regarding the "holding the door question", I think that if it would close before they get to it then I'll let it close. If it would still be half open at that point, I'll hold it open for them. However, the pandemic means that it's always better to let it close so that you can observe social distancing. (This applies regardless of who the other person is.)

I've worked with gay men who've complimented me on my dress sense (I wore bespoke suits to the office), why would I be offended? They mean well.

Had plenty come on quite stong when I was younger too, "sorry mate, I'm straight" works just fine. The alternative is some totalitarian office policies - you do know most people meet their life partners at work?

[Whorty]

I've worked with gay men who've complimented me on my dress sense (I wore bespoke suits to the office), why would I be offended? They mean well.

Had plenty come on quite stong when I was younger too, "sorry mate, I'm straight" works just fine. The alternative is some totalitarian office policies - you do know most people meet their life partners at work?

It's those bigots and homophobes who would be offended by a gay man giving them a compliment, like it makes them less 'masculine'! If I'm honest, I'd be far more offended if an ugly lass came on to me rather than a well groomed gay chap.

[ladymuck]

It's those bigots and homophobes who would be offended by a gay man giving them a compliment, like it makes them less 'masculine'! If I'm honest, I'd be far more offended if an ugly lass came on to me rather than a well groomed gay chap.

Well that's me told, you could have been a bit less personal about it

[Whorty]

Well that's me told, you could have been a bit less personal about it

I was actually thinking about a couple of women I used to work with who tried it on with me; both had met Mrs W so knew how pretty she was ... I was actually insulted that they thought they'd have a chance with me! Mrs W was pretty miffed too.

But I'm guessing a lot of you ladies have this all the time, when a drunk, creepy co-worker tries it on in the pub after work ... or holds the door open and then checks your ass as you walk past

[SueEllen]

I was actually thinking about a couple of women I used to work with who tried it on with me; both had met Mrs W so knew how pretty she was ... I was actually insulted that they thought they'd have a chance with me! Mrs W was pretty miffed too.

You sure they hadn't seen you cycling around?

I suspect lots of people have s lycra fetish like many men have a boot fetish.

[hobnob]

I've worked with gay men who've complimented me on my dress sense (I wore bespoke suits to the office), why would I be offended? They mean well.

Had plenty come on quite stong when I was younger too, "sorry mate, I'm straight" works just fine. The alternative is some totalitarian office policies - you do know most people meet their life partners at work?

For the first part, absolutely. I've had people compliment me before, e.g. when I worked somewhere without a dress code but made a conscious choice to shift from jeans/T-shirt to "smart casual". I was flattered, and I had no problem with that. Likewise, I think it would be perfectly acceptable for me to compliment a female colleague. That particularly applies if people wear uniforms at work (e.g. a hospital) and then you meet them at a works do when they're wearing their own clothes.

On the other hand, if someone took my hand and said "I really like your shirt - it brings out the colour of your eyes", I think that's crossing a line. So, I wouldn't behave like that towards a female colleague.

As for where people meet their life partners, I found an interesting bit of research here:
How do people find love? | YouGov
"Young people aged 18 to 24 first spot their crushes at university (18%), school (18%) or with mutual friends (15%). In contrast, 45- to 54-year-olds meet tend to meet at work (22%), by chance (19%) or through friends (16%)."

So, you are correct (for a certain age group), but it's not the overwhelming majority, and I suspect that will shift over time.

Personally, I think it's best to go via an intermediate step. For instance, I've worked at places (pre-pandemic) where some of the staff will have a 5-a-side football team, or go out to the pub together. I think it's ok to arrange a social event like that while you're at work. Similarly, once you're seeing someone socially outside of work, it's then ok to ask them out on a date.

[Whorty]

You sure they hadn't seen you cycling around?

I suspect lots of people have s lycra fetish like many men have a boot fetish.

That's certainly possible, one had seen me cycling to work Still doesn't make it a pleasant thought