Big Data

[Old Greg]

That's why I come here. You guys keep going on about how wonderfully clever you are, so you should be able to help me.

Not sure about aTw though, it's not even a proper anagram if you have to use the same letter twice.

It’s more that we keep going on about how thick people like you are. If you were able to draw that distinction, you might realise we’re unlikely to help you.

[AtW]

Simon, is that you?

[hugebrain]

If you were able to draw that distinction, you might realise we’re unlikely to help you.

Too late. I’m already going with your PowerPoint and gravitas idea.

I’ll keep my expertise in devOps and big data as a backup plan and if the question comes up I’ll advise them to only dig one lake to throw all the data in that.

[NotAllThere]

Where I work there are a bunch of clouds, data lakes, non-relational databases, microservices and such like. Lots of information zipping about.

So my questions:

1. Is this big data?

2. Can I raise my rate to a grand a day?

Failing that.

1. Is this DevOps

2. Can I raise my rate to a grand a day?

1. No 2. No 1. No 2. No. HTH

That's why I come here. You guys keep going on about how wonderfully clever you are, so you should be able to help me.

Oh, I can. I choose not to because you're a dull trolling idiot.

[ladymuck]

People here are mean. I thought this was a highly entertaining start to a thread then the usual trolls poisoned it.

HB - if you have a data lake, make sure it is a lake and not a pond. The difference is its depth. If you have a shallow body of data, it's a pond. If it's deep enough to have a zone where daylight can't reach, it's a lake. If you truly have the latter then that's where data mining (another handy term to know) comes in. I've not yet figured out how one mines a lake, although GoT could give you tips on how to go fishing with dynamite.

If going for the suggested plan B you could also incorporate some of pooper's charts into your powerpoint slides as that will help illustrate your expertise.

[Uncle Albert]

1) If it's too much to fit into a .Xls then it's "Big Data" as defined by the HMG.

2) If a grand a day seems like a lot of money, then you have no hope of ever securing a government contract.

[Old Greg]

1) If it's too much to fit into a .Xls then it's "Big Data" as defined by the HMG.

2) If a grand a day seems like a lot of money, then you have no hope of ever securing a government contract.

That's what .xlsx is for.

[ladymuck]

That's what .xlsx is for.

Chuck in a bit of power pivot and you've got yourself a database!

[_V_]

I thought the new buzzwords are Machine Learning, AI, 5G, Quantum Computing.

Isn't Cloud and Data Lakes stuff from about 5 years ago, practically Visual Basic of the buzzword list now?

[Old Greg]

Chuck in a bit of power pivot and you've got yourself a database!

Not really sure what any of that means. I just get a 400 pd grunt to do the ‘stuff’ and then I put some talking points on slides and guide leadership types through it with gravitas.

i do make sure the grunt gets the credit for their hard work. Fair’s fair.