Infatuation attack arrgh!

[GJABS]

OK, so for the past 12 months my mental health has been fine. I've accepted that I'm not an alpha male, that it is difficult, as someone with autism/aspergers or whatever, to form relationships. But in my life I've had bouts of depression. I've also had bouts of a kind of pining for a partner, in terms of a relationship. What would you call this though - is it a type of infatuation? Not infatuation with a particular person, but an infatuation with the idea of having a relationship. Well it has come on all of a sudden.

I don't know why this has come on suddenly? It is moderately unpleasant, and is creating anxiety. And I don't want it to relapse my depression, because it might force me to bail out of my current gig, which would fairly majorly inconvenience the end client.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar? Or am I a big girlie with no strength.

I probably shouldn't post stuff like this online.

Sorry for the rant.

[GhostofTarbera]

Just go on a few tinder dates, you will soon see how bat tulip crazy most woman are and the idea of a relationship will soon be gone

I have no serious advice


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[northernladuk]

Get to the docs and get yourself on a course of citalopram or similar. It's not a miracle cure hut it balances your brain out so you can focus on being you. If you can't sort you brain whizzing around the sleep becomes a problem and you are on a downward spiral. At least with the chemicals in your brain at the right level you've a fighting chance of staying focused.

Don't give me this 'real men don't do docs/pills/anti depressants' that's just bollocks.
Real men do what real men need to do to stay real men.

There is no stigma about them. More than half the teachers at my other half's school have been on them for years to deal with teaching primary school kids in a bad area. They swear by them.

Not the answer but hope it helps.

[mudskipper]

OK, so for the past 12 months my mental health has been fine. I've accepted that I'm not an alpha male, that it is difficult, as someone with autism/aspergers or whatever, to form relationships. But in my life I've had bouts of depression. I've also had bouts of a kind of pining for a partner, in terms of a relationship. What would you call this though - is it a type of infatuation? Not infatuation with a particular person, but an infatuation with the idea of having a relationship. Well it has come on all of a sudden.

I don't know why this has come on suddenly? It is moderately unpleasant, and is creating anxiety. And I don't want it to relapse my depression, because it might force me to bail out of my current gig, which would fairly majorly inconvenience the end client.

Has anyone else experienced anything similar? Or am I a big girlie with no strength.

I probably shouldn't post stuff like this online.

Sorry for the rant.

It's come on because of the smiling couples you see all over social media. It ain't real.

But if you do want a relationship, then you do need to put yourself out there as tarbera says - difficult if you're not confident socially.

FWIW, for a long time I was unhappy because people seemed to have "better" relationships than me - it's taken many years to realise that most people are muddling along together trying not to wind each other up too much, and those that are truly happy are the rare exception

[GJABS]

Get to the docs and get yourself on a course of citalopram or similar.

Thanks northernlad. Actually I am taking one, and have been for several years. They work. Aannd over the past few weeks I have been forgetting to take them some nights. This might be a factor. It's just a surprise how quickly the problem comes on.

I will see my GP if things take a turn for the worse (and I'll be required to stop flying until I'm better, which is fair enough).

cheers again

[northernladuk]

Thanks northernlad. Actually I am taking one, and have been for several years. They work. Aannd over the past few weeks I have been forgetting to take them some nights. This might be a factor. It's just a surprise how quickly the problem comes on.

I will see my GP if things take a turn for the worse (and I'll be required to stop flying until I'm better, which is fair enough).

cheers again

Dunno what you are on but citalopram takes a couple of weeks to charge up and start working hence it not being much of a miracle cure. More like long term balancer. I'd be very surprised if something that takes that long to normalise your levels can be undone in a day or two... But better safe than sorry.

[BrilloPad]

Citralopram should be taken in the morning as it affects sleep.

Once on them its hard to stop. For those think of starting on anti-depressants, the first few weeks are worse. And Citralopram is not great for some, Sertraline can be better.

Personally when I get depressed, I keep away from general for a while and stick to tpd. That usually cures my issues. Or arrange a social meet up, where you meet nice people who assist you instead of bringing you down(yes even NLUK! ). Really I should just quit CUK all together - but I like to hang round the scheme forum picking up those in a really bad way.

[scooterscot]

Welcome to the human condition. Even Peter Pan cannot deny the flow of time.

Reading your text reminded of Jordan's lecture, a very worthwhile 10 minutes:

[DaveB]

It's come on because of the smiling couples you see all over social media. It ain't real.

But if you do want a relationship, then you do need to put yourself out there as tarbera says - difficult if you're not confident socially.

FWIW, for a long time I was unhappy because people seemed to have "better" relationships than me - it's taken many years to realise that most people are muddling along together trying not to wind each other up too much, and those that are truly happy are the rare exception

This ^^

The pressure from society to have a "perfect" relationship, or even to be in a relationship at all is enormous. Being single, especially by choice, is seen as being abnormal.

We all look at other people, especially on social media, and wonder how they manage to have such a wonderful marriage/partnership/whatever and compare ourselves to them. What you don't see in this sanitized, controlled presentation are the arguments, bickering, irritating habits and other imperfections.

As was said earlier, you can scratch the itch by going on dates via Tinder or other dating apps. Just remember that the person you see on the App is almost certainly as ****ed up and insecure as you are IRL.

[Zigenare]

G-JABS, it could be hormonal, your body telling you to get out there and breed before it's too late. Some people refer to it as a mid-life crisis.

Go and see the Doc, you're not the only one who's gone through this stuff.

Even mudskipper has trouble trying to be a "real man", although you wouldn't think that if you'd ever met her.