Wedding Etiquette Question

[SueEllen]

A trial finders voucher or similar. No cash no cheque.

Nah don't do that.

Problem with trial finders is people can often find flights cheaper.

You are better of just getting them a voucher from a generic high street shop where they can buy something hence my mention of Argos. Though other people go to department stores e.g. John Lewis, Debenhams if they don't dislike the people.

[FrontEnder]

I would give them a £30 Argos voucher.

Any couple who openly asks for money for themselves I don't give it to them.

This is really petty.

If someone has a wedding list, do you just deliberately buy them something not on the list?

[WTFH]

The Wife (tm) and I may have to renew our vows as she’s broken a couple of the Denby bowls and I’d like someone to buy us new ones.

[BrilloPad]

The Wife (tm) and I may have to renew our vows as she’s broken a couple of the Denby bowls and I’d like someone to buy us new ones.

What did you do to cause them to throw the bowls at you?

I can't wait for the stag do. I will invite all those you have given infractions to over the years.....

[SueEllen]

This is really petty.

The only people who have done that are relations - and it was only one. My friends and acquaintances have manners.

If someone has a wedding list, do you just deliberately buy them something not on the list?

Nah I try to get to the wedding list first.

[BrilloPad]

But it's better than 5 god awful cheap toasters and other tasteless cheap that doesnt match a single thing. I remember everyone wailing when wedding lists at John lewisvetc etc became popular.

I never needed any of that tat at either wedding.

First one was abroad - just the two of us.

Second one we asked for charity donations.

Now, which "wit" is going to ask about the other 10 weddings?

I think I need funding for a divorce anyway....

[BrilloPad]

My friends and acquaintances have manners.

Your CUK friends don't....

[ladymuck]

Your CUK friends don't....

CUK friends? Now there's an oxymoron

[ladymuck]

In answer to the OP. I would consider how much I would genuinely spend on a gift and just pop the cash in a card. You don't have to reference the cash in the card, keep that to generic "congratulations on your big day, sorry I can't be there"

There was something in the news recently where a couple were charging £150 for people to attend their wedding

[NotAllThere]

why should anyone give money to people just because they're stupid enough to get married?

Why should any give gifts to people just because it's their birthday, or it's the 25th of December?

There's no tricky etiquette here. If either one of the couple are friends of yours, then give them cash, a cheque, or pay directly into their account - up to the amount you want to spend. If they're only passing acquaintances, then don't feel obliged to give anything, especially if you're not going to turn up for the booze and food etc.

If a couple are already well flush, then I think giving nothing is fine, if you don't want to. The original idea of wedding gifts was to help the young couple set up in life. Not fund a holiday they can well afford themselves.

...

What about the other ten weddings?