Reply to: Wedding Etiquette Question

[BrilloPad]

Only because you changed your name to Mr & Mrs Surname and pocketed the lot.

"pocketed"? Is that the urban dictionary term for a sex change operation?

[northernladuk]

NO! We ended up with a nightmare because of that (and it's dependent on changing name as well).

Only because you changed your name to Mr & Mrs Surname and pocketed the lot.

[BrilloPad]

All sorted - will send a card with cheque enclosed made payable to groom only, as I will send it in advance of the wedding next month.

In preparation for divorce you should have sent 2 cheques for 50%. One to the couple and one to their lawyers.

[kaiser78]

Wedding Etiquette Question - Sorted

Help needed on this one please as totally not my area of expertise…I have been invited to a wedding reception in a couple of weeks time, although I am not able to make it.

The wedding couple have asked for donations to their honeymoon next year. My query is whether it is the done thing to just enclose cash with the card, or should I write a cheque ?

All sorted - will send a card with cheque enclosed made payable to groom only, as I will send it in advance of the wedding next month.

[northernladyuk]

a cheque to Mr. & Mrs. Surname.
That way they have to go and open a joint bank account. Isn't that romantic?

NO! We ended up with a nightmare because of that (and it's dependent on changing name as well).

[SueEllen]

I guess in the old days people wouldnt have lived together before marriage so they needed shedloads of stuff.

We lived together but still needed loads of stuff cos we were skint (21 years ago). Don't people use wedding lists these days?

Yeah they do.

Though the nice people:
1. Get married in the UK
2. Don't ask for money or gifts
3. Don't charge you to come to the wedding

This is because they know being a guest is expensive.

They then get people giving get them worthwhile gifts, or money with happiness.

[psychocandy]

It's a weird one isn't it. It's always a pain I the arse knowing what to buy them. I despise buying people stuff that I know they won't really want so they give what appears to be an easy option but that rubs people up even more. You'd think it would be preferable to the hassle buying something but it causes so much angst.

I guess in the old days people wouldnt have lived together before marriage so they needed shedloads of stuff.

We lived together but still needed loads of stuff cos we were skint (21 years ago). Don't people use wedding lists these days?

[northernladuk]

Not seen that before - donations to pay for their "holiday" sod that.

Then again I dont agree with that idea that you bring people something back from holiday. Total crap. Mrs family are well into it. As you know we got to florida a lot and some of her family actually say "can you get me that?". No offer of payment they expect it as a present.

They're a bit of a jealous lot mind. I reckon part of their idea is "well you're lucky to be going on holiday so least you can do is buy me something".

It's a weird one isn't it. It's always a pain I the arse knowing what to buy them. I despise buying people stuff that I know they won't really want so they give what appears to be an easy option but that rubs people up even more. You'd think it would be preferable to the hassle buying something but it causes so much angst.

[psychocandy]

Not seen that before - donations to pay for their "holiday" sod that.

Then again I dont agree with that idea that you bring people something back from holiday. Total crap. Mrs family are well into it. As you know we got to florida a lot and some of her family actually say "can you get me that?". No offer of payment they expect it as a present.

They're a bit of a jealous lot mind. I reckon part of their idea is "well you're lucky to be going on holiday so least you can do is buy me something".

[ladymuck]

Extending on from my original query, do I just include the cheque (if not cash) inside the card, or should this be put into another envelope and/or with a gift message inside the card ?

In answer to the OP. I would consider how much I would genuinely spend on a gift and just pop the cash in a card. You don't have to reference the cash in the card, keep that to generic "congratulations on your big day, sorry I can't be there"

There was something in the news recently where a couple were charging £150 for people to attend their wedding

Seeing as you missed it

[WTFH]

IIRC Traditional etiquette is that the best man pays for the honeymoon.

That explains why Brillo has asked me to keep one day free every other year for the next decade.

[SimonMac]

BBC Radio 4 - More or Less: Behind the Stats, WS More or Less: Wedding gift economics

[NigelJK]

IIRC Traditional etiquette is that the best man pays for the honeymoon.

[BR14]

I won't actually check infractions. Anyone who wants to go mod-bashing is welcome.

The first step will be covering him head to foot with gel wrappers. Then the real fun starts.....

have you engaged with any mental health professionals? - they may be able to fix that.

[BrilloPad]

I try to avoid "middle-aged" stag do's these days. Some want to go clubbing (I'm too old), Spearmint Rhino is pointless now we have the internet, and the idea of a golf weekend on the Algarve fills me with a deep sense of gloom. Frankly, I'd rather have some typhoid.
So if it's none of those, count me in. Do I need to bring a copy of my infraction or do you keep them on file?

I won't actually check infractions. Anyone who wants to go mod-bashing is welcome.

The first step will be covering him head to foot with gel wrappers. Then the real fun starts.....