Give client advance notice of expected bereavement/funeral/etc?

[d000hg]

I'm lucky enough never to have known anyone well who has died, or have any close friends who have lost parents while I've known them, so I've no idea what happens with work, especially as a contractor.
What is the done thing when a close relative (e.g a parent) dies or is dying, in terms of notifying the client specifically, and normal amounts of time to be away? My client are very nice so no issues expected, but is there an etiquette in such situations about how much you say, how much warning you give, etc, etc?

[jmo21]

I dont think there is any etiquette as such, other than I'm sure they'd like a bit of notice of being off for a funeral

People know you're human and while I'm sure there are a few arseholes out there, most will be understanding.

If any of my close relatives were to pass over night for example, I'd probably struggle to even let client co know that day, and to be honest if they gave me tulip about it I couldn't care less.

[northernladuk]

I dont think there is any etiquette as such, other than I'm sure they'd like a bit of notice of being off for a funeral

People know you're human and while I'm sure there are a few arseholes out there, most will be understanding.

If any of my close relatives were to pass over night for example, I'd probably struggle to even let client co know that day, and to be honest if they gave me tulip about it I couldn't care less.

Am with this. It would be a bad person that actually took you to task over anything like this although taking too long off could diminish your reputation a little but that will only be mentioned behind your back and only for excessive lengths of time. I think most people will understand whatever you do.

[formant]

If you are on good terms with people at your ClientCo, I'd say maybe mention the dying relative in conversation (but keep it informal and don't elaborate on 'I'll be off for funeral/grieving' - that should be a given).

I say this because people can be sceptical. You don't know if they've had experiences of permies playing that card to take extra leave for example (it's sick but it happens). So I don't think they'd give you a hard time over it in any case, but if they've heard something about this in advance, nobody will be in the position to question you needing time off.

[Pondlife]

As others have said, this is not the thing to be worrying about.

By all means mention the situation so they're aware. To me this isn't a customer/supplier issue, it's a people thing.

[formant]

To me this isn't a customer/supplier issue, it's a people thing.

Well put.

[BrilloPad]

I would not mention it unless anyone asks if you are miserable. But thats just my opinion.

I have never heard of any business denying people human compassion - except at hedge funds.

There are people who look super fit who die just like that. And people who are terminally ill who go on for years. IMO Scientists really don't understand life or death.

In your shoes I would be incredibly p1ssed off and not acting "normally" (whatever that means) so you have to do what you think is the best for you.

Very best of luck whatever you choose.

[Normie]

When my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer I told my client that over the next few months my hours were likely to be somewhat irregular (i.e. a few late starts, early leaving, the odd day off, etc - helping out my Mother with care). I told them that at the end of the month I'd add up my working hours, divide by 8 and round to nearest day - they were happy with this.

When he passed away I just told them I'm taking a week off - again, no problem.

[bobspud]

If your relative is "fading" Just take the client to one side and explain whats happening, then decide when you will want to take time off vs when you can work from home and set that plan in stone. My mum was ill for a whole month or more before she died and apart from taking the time with my dad and going to the hospice I wanted to keep my mind busy so I worked the time I was not at the hospital or hospice. At some point you will be in a situation where mood swings will be irrational to say the least. Its better that the word goes round that your buttons should not be pushed before someone treads on the wrong foot. A good client will shuffle your work around with you and await your return to full power. Worst that can happen is they say that they didn't want a permies problems with you and you just walk off site.

[up4it]

If you feel you may need some time off soon or you think it may be affecting your work / concentration then by all means let the Manager know. Most clients will show some compassion and help you out. If they won't, then personally I would be looking elsewhere as the company would not be worth working for. But I think you will be OK anyway.