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Mobbing/Bullying?

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    #51
    Originally posted by Northernercontractor View Post
    Hi all,

    I recently started a new contract, been in about 6 weeks and I am having a nightmare time. I sit alongside a permie who somehow has taking a disliking to me. It all began when I challenged something and wasn't satisfied with the response I received from permie girl next to me and few other members of the team so I spoke to the director about how to go about a certain issue.

    After this incident I noticed that I was sort of being ignored, not included in conversations, people looking at me in a funny way (and I am sure this is because of the permie next to me spreading rumours that I am incompetent). On a few occasions I have felt undermined, made to feel stupid and belittled because of the way she has spoken to me in front of other colleagues. I feel that my integrity and reputation are being affected by this behaviour. I can't help but feel the permie girl is feeling threatened as I am showing initiative and doing my job the way I always do.

    After all of this going on one afternoon after lunch I am called into a meeting room with the manager and the permie girl. Manager tells me that there have been complaints with regards to my tone of voice whilst speaking to permie girl and this has come from a few other team members. I am totally shocked at being ambushed like this and not expecting this at all. Please note that the manager and permie are also friends outside work and it is apparent that permie has complained to manager - and apparently other people too. Within this meeting the permie raises her voice at me several time making accusations and almost shouting and this is not stopped. I try to say my side of events but I am stopped by manager and told to stop flailing my arms about which is unfair as I was merely using hands to express what I was saying - apparently its a mediation session but I feel that this was not impartial or fair seeing as they are friends. Also the fact that I had no idea this `mediation` was going to happen. This was clearly planned in advance and I had no idea so I walked into something not knowing what I was going to say whilst permie had a chance to plan. I did ask who had complained but they couldn't tell me as it wasn't fair to do so. So now I am working within a team not knowing who has snaked.

    After this `meeting` I can't help but burst into tears - usually I am very composed but I do feel `cornered, targeted and dare I say it bullied`The next day the atmosphere within the team is odd, a few people are hovering around permie desk having a good old look at me and again I feel intimidated as its clear that gossip has been spread.

    Now I am dreading going into work each day and I am actually sitting this bank holiday weekend upset instead of enjoying it. What complicates matters even further is that the permie girl has been put in charge of checking my work - I am worried about IR35 to be reporting to a permie for checking my work. Not sure what to do at all. I did tell her that I manage my own workload and time management but she said well maybe you need to adapt to how things are done here. This has never happened to me before so I am just shocked at my treatment here. Any advice anyone?
    Seriously, is this trolling or what? You burst into tears? At work? Sounds very permanent mindset.

    But whatever, it all started when you 'challenged' something (your words). That suggests to me you dont have a clue how to negotiate with your permie colleagues and you've now found out the hard way where 'challenging' something that wasnt to your liking in the contracting world can bite you.

    You either need to grow a thicker skin in this role or move on. Then, you need to seriously think how to approach an issue in your next contract without rubbing up your permie (and potentially contractor) colleagues.

    Comment


      #52
      Originally posted by Northernercontractor View Post
      Hi all,

      I recently started a new contract, been in about 6 weeks and I am having a nightmare time. I sit alongside a permie who somehow has taking a disliking to me. It all began when I challenged something and wasn't satisfied with the response I received from permie girl next to me and few other members of the team so I spoke to the director about how to go about a certain issue.

      After this incident ...
      Permie girl!!
      Why don't you refer as a permie? This sound sexist to me.

      Comment


        #53
        Originally posted by Bee View Post
        Permie girl!!
        Why don't you refer as a permie? This sound sexist to me.
        I'm not sure how to respond now. Pillock girl or pillock?
        'CUK forum personality of 2011 - Winner - Yes really!!!!

        Comment


          #54
          Originally posted by northernladuk View Post
          I'm not sure how to respond now. Pillock girl or pillock?
          You lost the opportunity to shut up.

          Comment


            #55
            Originally posted by Bee View Post
            Permie girl!!
            Why don't you refer as a permie? This sound sexist to me.
            No point pointing out to people they have an attitude due to their language.
            "You’re just a bad memory who doesn’t know when to go away" JR

            Comment


              #56
              Not sure what you can do about the rest but If they want to check your work I'd just let them.. From an IR35 point of view I'm not sure how it would look but if I was a permie I'd be checking work from external suppliers all the time so I'd consider it part of a normal B2B relationship.. I'd probably be more worried if they didn't - All work that I do goes through a code review I don't see any difference.

              I'd probably be tempted to mentally time any conversations that you have with them, if a permie spent 5 minutes being a dick I'd like to think that my closing line as I walk away from them would be the total that their company paid me to listen to them (Bonus points if you can work out what they got in the same time!).

              If its that bad, walk, you might lose a bit of money - You just need to weigh up if that bit of money is worth the stress?

              Comment


                #57
                Originally posted by Northernercontractor View Post
                I did actually do that also. Straight after the ambush I spoke to the permie girl and said that we should have a chat in the morning to clear the air. However, this did not end well either. She was raising her voice again, speaking down to me and acting like my boss. I am not there to be micromanaged. Everything works both ways, both parties should be allowed to have their say. I was actually the one who was spoken down to and patronised in front of colleagues by permie girl and I had decided not to raise it with managed, that was me `manning up` and getting on with it. But before I know it she and apparently a few others have complained about my tone - but of course anyone would have a tone if you are bossed around and micromanaged with every small petty thing as much as an administrative error or an underline for a heading...I mean come on.
                Oh, in that case, take a dump on her desk as you leave.

                Comment


                  #58
                  Originally posted by jmo21 View Post
                  Was wondering if this a code issue while reading the thread.

                  I really hope this wasn't some dull argument about which IOC container to use, or pattern to follow, or {some other dull detail that you have a strong opinion about that is actually just one of many common ways to do something}.

                  Everyone loves a know-it-all coming in swinging their big coding balls/boobs all over the place telling the permies how rubbish they are.
                  Spaces V's Tabs??

                  VIM over EMACS??

                  Comment


                    #59
                    Originally posted by Snarf View Post
                    Spaces V's Tabs??

                    VIM over EMACS??
                    I said a dull argument, those are def worth having

                    Comment


                      #60
                      Have you tried overtly shopping for expensive stuff the permies can't afford in your lunch break? Usually makes me feel better if there's ever permie drama.

                      Even ask for opinions on which make/models are better from any that are still talking to you.
                      "Is someone you don't like allowed to say something you don't like? If that is the case then we have free speech."- Elon Musk

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