Mobbing/Bullying?

[Northernercontractor]

Apologise for any offence caused. Stress it was not your intention and explain you are only trying to do the best job you can to ensure the company get their monies worth.

Mainly do not get emotional but be as logical as possible, speak in a calm clear voice - if you do find you have a tendency to become animated then sit on your hands or simply be aware of what you are doing.

If you do have this meeting plan for it and stick to your points do not get dragged into other side issues which are not relevant.

Do not rely on your personality it is not what the client pays for.

Good luck.

Funny that. I was relied on my personality for this role as it would be a good fit for the current team. Its easy for you all to say don't get emotional etc but if you are dragged into room with no prior notice of a `meeting` and ambushed by manager and permie girl then you wouldn't be calm either. She was raising her voice but when I did I was told to remain calm by manager. Clearly favouritism as they are friends.

[aft]

Why don't you bring up the issue in a 1 to 1 with the offended party?

This would be the mature and professional thing to do in my view.

"I believe I have offended you by my actions, I would like to understand what I have done so I am able to prevent it happening again, if you could just tell me your opinion on what happened I would be grateful" etc

You don't even have to apologize if you don't want to, and you can believe what you did was the right decision but ultimately you have caused an upset and the only way to remedy it will be through empathetic listening to the other person and trying to understand their view point.

You may still believe at the end of the conversation that your actions were appropriate in the given situation - that is a differing of opinions and it's probably best to keep it to yourself. Just making the effort in making the other person feel understood is usually enough to diffuse the situation.

If the other person is intimidated by you the best way to remedy this is by being non threatening and communicating that you are only there to do a job, not trying to undermine peoples authority, belittle their experience or make them feel bad in any way whatsoever.

It's apparent you are very upset and feel unfairly treated by the manager, however, you aren't going to win anyone back over to your side by begrudging people for being friends and doing what friends do (having each others backs) - in this instance you'd be wise not to take their alliance personally.

If you try all that and the situation is still tulip, then like others have said walk (I would make sure I got my fee first).

Ultimately though you should have the professional nous and human decency to try and resolve the situation before it comes to that.

Sounds like the three of you need a clip round the ear and a reminder that you are on the same team with a common goal.

It's like when the referee in a kids football game makes two players shake hands and get on with the game. There's no time at work for personal grievances, we go there to make money, not friends.

[Northernercontractor]

Why don't you bring up the issue in a 1 to 1 with the offended party?

This would be the mature and professional thing to do in my view.

"I believe I have offended you by my actions, I would like to understand what I have done so I am able to prevent it happening again, if you could just tell me your opinion on what happened I would be grateful" etc

You don't even have to apologize if you don't want to, and you can believe what you did was the right decision but ultimately you have caused an upset and the only way to remedy it will be through empathetic listening to the other person and trying to understand their view point.

You may still believe at the end of the conversation that your actions were appropriate in the given situation - that is a differing of opinions and it's probably best to keep it to yourself. Just making the effort in making the other person feel understood is usually enough to diffuse the situation.

If the other person is intimidated by you the best way to remedy this is by being non threatening and communicating that you are only there to do a job, not trying to undermine peoples authority, belittle their experience or make them feel bad in any way whatsoever.

It's apparent you are very upset and feel unfairly treated by the manager, however, you aren't going to win anyone back over to your side by begrudging people for being friends and doing what friends do (having each others backs) - in this instance you'd be wise not to take their alliance personally.

If you try all that and the situation is still tulip, then like others have said walk (I would make sure I got my fee first).

Ultimately though you should have the professional nous and human decency to try and resolve the situation before it comes to that.

Sounds like the three of you need a clip round the ear and a reminder that you are on the same team with a common goal.

It's like when the referee in a kids football game makes two players shake hands and get on with the game. There's no time at work for personal grievances, we go there to make money, not friends.

I did actually do that also. Straight after the ambush I spoke to the permie girl and said that we should have a chat in the morning to clear the air. However, this did not end well either. She was raising her voice again, speaking down to me and acting like my boss. I am not there to be micromanaged. Everything works both ways, both parties should be allowed to have their say. I was actually the one who was spoken down to and patronised in front of colleagues by permie girl and I had decided not to raise it with managed, that was me `manning up` and getting on with it. But before I know it she and apparently a few others have complained about my tone - but of course anyone would have a tone if you are bossed around and micromanaged with every small petty thing as much as an administrative error or an underline for a heading...I mean come on.

[BlasterBates]

I did actually do that also. Straight after the ambush I spoke to the permie girl and said that we should have a chat in the morning to clear the air. However, this did not end well either. She was raising her voice again, speaking down to me and acting like my boss. I am not there to be micromanaged. Everything works both ways, both parties should be allowed to have their say. I was actually the one who was spoken down to and patronised in front of colleagues by permie girl and I had decided not to raise it with managed, that was me `manning up` and getting on with it. But before I know it she and apparently a few others have complained about my tone - but of course anyone would have a tone if you are bossed around and micromanaged with every small petty thing as much as an administrative error or an underline for a heading...I mean come on.

It is fairly normal to have your work reviewed and spelling mistakes, formatting errors pointed out. Just correct them.

As I say don't argue just patiently get on with your work, when your work is reviewed correct it and submit for another review.

When this "permie girl" says anything just say yeah yeah and grin, you know the sort of grin that says you don't give a sh*t. Alternatively give her blank stares, but above all don't argue. Within a week she'll have better things to do than micro-manage your work.

This really isn't work getting het up about. You will find many contracts where your work is reviewed to last minute detail, just let it wash all over you and invoice, invoice, invoice.

When you leave, you lose income, best avoided. At some point you will get a repeat experience so best get used to it.

[fidot]

So they are able to produce evidence of mistakes according to written standards, however trivial they may seen to you?

However poorly you may feel that you have been treated, you have no moral high ground until you correct those errors. Do that with a smile on your face and Thank them got pointing these errors out.

If they aren't documented you are justified in pointing that out but do it professionally and courteously.

[uk contractor]

I didn't see an issue with going to the director as its an open door policy where I work and the director is usually in amongst employees and contractors anyway - it wasn't as if no one goes to the director for advice or a chat so there shouldn't have been an issue with that. I have already asked for a meeting on Friday which is planned for Tuesday so it's not about manning up.

Your either very inexperienced & or naïve if you still think that! Just because they have an open door policy does not mean you should consider using it as its always going to find its way back to the perm staff you must work with. Most of us with more experience would keep billing, cover ourselves & not rock the boat whilst looking at other contracts if this one went bad. Personality clashes are probably the no1 reason IT contracts end early as well (why you should go out of your way to avoid that even if you have to eat humble pie it tastes better than eating zero income for a few months!).

How many years IT contracting experience do you have anyway?

[Northernercontractor]

So I just put up with the bullying behaviour of being belittled in front of the team, her raising her voice at me and telling me off? I have a reputation at stake and I'm sure none of you would like to be spoken to like that and I'm sure you would have something to say back.

[Northernercontractor]

Just because I am a contractor doesn't mean I should get used to getting treated like tulip. Like I said in other contracts I haven't been micromanaged or been treated like this. It's a toxic environment and like others have said lifes to short. I am confident I can bag another contract as my experience speaks for itself.

[zonkkk]

To an outsider reading you posts, you come across as confrontational (even with no arms waving); it is also clear that you think the 'permie girl' is well below your professional level and I am sure you've made that clear in your interaction with her.
Raising your voice back at someone shouting at you won't get you anything.

I have had a situation once which ended up with one of the permanent employees from the team just standing up and leaving after a shouting match in the open office. The test manager saw my point but sided up with him.

I could have left it there, but it just didn't feel right. The next day in the daily stand-up I have publicly and unreservedly apologised for the unprofessional manner in which I have handled the situation - no buts or explanations.
After that, the permanent employee thanked me, and we had a good chat in private.

I am not working with a client to show them how smart or stupid I am, or to look down on anyone. I have nothing to prove, I am there to deliver without rocking the boat.

A week later everything was left exactly as suggested by me initially and everybody was happy. The end!

[BlasterBates]

So I just put up with the bullying behaviour of being belittled in front of the team, her raising her voice at me and telling me off? I have a reputation at stake and I'm sure none of you would like to be spoken to like that and I'm sure you would have something to say back.

Yes but the reason she raises her voice is because you are allowing yourself to get drawn into an argument, and then when you are in the argument she raises her voice. You have to "dead-pan" and reply with well thought through belittling witty retorts, that although barbed are politely delivered. You are now in a psychological war with this woman and you have to regain the upper hand.

Sure you can hand in your notice if you must, but I would at least have a go, because there are only two outcomes. Either you win or you walk.