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Previously on "Please put more jokes here"

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  • vetran
    replied
    Someone suggested getting a stripper for my wife's 60th birthday. What a fantastic idea that turned out to be.

    She only has the paper to hang now.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    My wife joined a successful local Weightwatchers groups, as the membership is increasing rapidly she told me tonight "the group is getting bigger".

    Clearly not working then.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    At the start of the pandemic Robbie Williams was using antibacterial wipes.
    But now he's loving hand gel instead.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I’ve been married for 20 years.

    A ghost is my only hope of ever experiencing moaning in the bedroom again.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Sky News: Two children killed as drag race car hits spectators in Texas.

    What do they expect? Driving racing cars in those heels.

    Leave a comment:


  • NotAllThere
    replied
    Originally posted by WTFH View Post
    I’ve decided to write a limerick, wondering if anyone can help me. It starts like this:

    There was a young man from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogeryrchwyrndrobwllllantysili ogogogoch
    Here's a few I found.

    There was a young man from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch,
    Whose limericks left a bit to be desired.




    There was a young man from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch
    With a trans-Menai-Strait-travelling cock
    From his home he could screw with
    A girl in Bontnewydd
    That happy young man from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysilio gogogoch

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    In other news, Flat earthers arrange a global conference.

    Leave a comment:


  • TestMangler
    replied
    Originally posted by WTFH View Post
    I’ve decided to write a limerick, wondering if anyone can help me. It starts like this:

    There was a young man from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogeryrchwyrndrobwllllantysili ogogogoch
    Can't help with that but do have one about a young man from Aberystwyth

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I would much rather be served a round by a bartender than by Alec Baldwin.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Me - You almost ready?

    Wife - Just a few more minutes. What time do we have to be there?

    Me - Yesterday at 7.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Originally posted by WTFH View Post
    I’ve decided to write a limerick, wondering if anyone can help me. It starts like this:

    There was a young man from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogeryrchwyrndrobwllllantysili ogogogoch
    He was running around the town then up a hill for tea he met his girlfriend there broke his cock!

    Leave a comment:


  • WTFH
    replied
    I’ve decided to write a limerick, wondering if anyone can help me. It starts like this:

    There was a young man from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogeryrchwyrndrobwllllantysili ogogogoch

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I have 2 dogs called Rolex and Timex.

    They're watchdogs.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    My job description when I'm on a date...
    "Yeah, I'm a Bean Counter for a Multinational Food Conglomerate worth
    26 billion US Dollars."
    My job description the rest of the time...
    "I do quality control at the local Heinz Factory."

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    There's a place in Yorkshire called Gammon. It only has 6 houses.

    It's a Hamlet

    Leave a comment:

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