Reply to: Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

If Allah does not exist, why did the universe start with the Big Bang?

[vetran]

As she reached up for the quinoa on the top shelf, her tiny skirt rode up and exposed the cheeks of her pert young buttocks. Then, as she leaned over the fruit and veg opposite me to pick out the best, ripest avocados, her large firm bra-less breasts swung free. Then, as she bent to the bottom shelf to select a bottle of first pressed extra virgin olive oil, I could see the soft mound of her pouting lips straining to be contained against her barely adequate thong.

This isn't just a hard on, this in an M&S hard on.

[vetran]

I've just joined the Jehovah's bystanders.

It's like being a Jehovah's Witness but we don't like to get involved.

[vetran]

I said to the baker..
"How come all your cakes are 50p and that one's ?1?"
He said..." that's Madeira cake"

[WTFH]

Many of you will have heard of Phil Spector, but did you know his brother Arsene was as a proctologist?

[vetran]

Q. Name a great Welsh butter?
.
.
.
A. Ryan Giggs

[vetran]

Somebody just asked me what I know about atoms.

Very little

[vetran]

Adele has declared her wish to marry Rich Paul

Heather Mills hatched a similar plan years ago

[vetran]

I just failed my RAF entrance exam.

Apparently 'the Bombay doors' are NOT an Indian tribute band ??

[WTFH]

Today my doctor told me I was colour blind.


That really came out of the purple.

[WTFH]

It must be an extremely worrying time for anybody who has dumped a body in a reservoir.

[vetran]

What's the difference between vetran and my septic tank?

My septic tank isn't full of tulip. (I expect to tell the same joke in 2 years time and may even use this post as a reminder as to when I last had it emptied)

I expect you will still be talking Tulip & being unfunny in 2 years.

[WTFH]

What's the difference between vetran and my septic tank?

My septic tank isn't full of tulip. (I expect to tell the same joke in 2 years time and may even use this post as a reminder as to when I last had it emptied)

[vetran]

Didn't know Alexei was their new driver?

James May 'was rushed to hospital after crashing into a wall at 75mph during filming for the Amazon Prime show' The only thing to improve this episode would be if Clarkson were in the passenger seat.

[vetran]

I don?t think the Man Utd WAGs have anything to worry about. I've not seen a bunch of men play away so badly in my lifetime.