• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
Collapse

You are not logged in or you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:

  • You are not logged in. If you are already registered, fill in the form below to log in, or follow the "Sign Up" link to register a new account.
  • You may not have sufficient privileges to access this page. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
  • If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation.

Previously on "Please put more jokes here"

Collapse

  • vetran
    replied
    If Allah does not exist, why did the universe start with the Big Bang?

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    As she reached up for the quinoa on the top shelf, her tiny skirt rode up and exposed the cheeks of her pert young buttocks. Then, as she leaned over the fruit and veg opposite me to pick out the best, ripest avocados, her large firm bra-less breasts swung free. Then, as she bent to the bottom shelf to select a bottle of first pressed extra virgin olive oil, I could see the soft mound of her pouting lips straining to be contained against her barely adequate thong.

    This isn't just a hard on, this in an M&S hard on.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I've just joined the Jehovah's bystanders.

    It's like being a Jehovah's Witness but we don't like to get involved.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I said to the baker..
    "How come all your cakes are 50p and that one's ?1?"
    He said..." that's Madeira cake"

    Leave a comment:


  • WTFH
    replied
    Many of you will have heard of Phil Spector, but did you know his brother Arsene was as a proctologist?

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Q. Name a great Welsh butter?
    .
    .
    .
    A. Ryan Giggs

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Somebody just asked me what I know about atoms.

    Very little

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Adele has declared her wish to marry Rich Paul

    Heather Mills hatched a similar plan years ago

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I just failed my RAF entrance exam.

    Apparently 'the Bombay doors' are NOT an Indian tribute band ??

    Leave a comment:


  • WTFH
    replied
    Today my doctor told me I was colour blind.


    That really came out of the purple.

    Leave a comment:


  • WTFH
    replied
    It must be an extremely worrying time for anybody who has dumped a body in a reservoir.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Originally posted by WTFH View Post
    What's the difference between vetran and my septic tank?

    My septic tank isn't full of tulip. (I expect to tell the same joke in 2 years time and may even use this post as a reminder as to when I last had it emptied)
    I expect you will still be talking Tulip & being unfunny in 2 years.

    Leave a comment:


  • WTFH
    replied
    What's the difference between vetran and my septic tank?

    My septic tank isn't full of tulip. (I expect to tell the same joke in 2 years time and may even use this post as a reminder as to when I last had it emptied)

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Didn't know Alexei was their new driver?

    James May 'was rushed to hospital after crashing into a wall at 75mph during filming for the Amazon Prime show' The only thing to improve this episode would be if Clarkson were in the passenger seat.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I don?t think the Man Utd WAGs have anything to worry about. I've not seen a bunch of men play away so badly in my lifetime.

    Leave a comment:

Working...
X