Reply to: Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Norwich have already sold out of season tickets for next season.

To be fair, they only have to print one family ticket and then 'everyones' in.

[vetran]

[vetran]

What a shame that Ray Liotta has died.

He was a good fella.

[vetran]

Ray Liotta's dead.

He's survived by his daughter, Tarka.

[vetran]

I bought an owl with a speech impediment. It didn't bother it at all.

In fact it couldn't give two hoots.

[vetran]

Kevin Spacey...**** off.

Coming over here, taking our knobs.

[vetran]

I'm not saying that wartyis ugly but he got a job as Kevin Spacey's personal dresser and Spacey asked him if he minded if they stayed just friends.

[vetran]

James Akaster/Nish Kumar telling Ricky Gervais to be a better comedian is like Diane Abbott telling Steven Hawking to be better at mathematics!

[vetran]

Pick a band whose drummer is still alive.'

'Yes?'

'No.'

[vetran]

Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?
It’s two gross.

[vetran]

A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”

[vetran]

How do you drown a hipster?
Throw him in the mainstream.

[vetran]

Why did the chicken go to the séance?
To get to the other side.

[vetran]

Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboards?
He was just going through a stage.

[vetran]

A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and …..... cola.”
“Why the big pause?” asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”