Reply to: Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

My leg won't stop mooing.

I think I've got a calf injury

[vetran]

[ first day working at a pet store ]
customer: can i see that fish bowl?
me: sure let me get his shoes

[vetran]

My husband has been having an affair with a women from Nice.

French with benefits.

[vetran]

My girlfriend moans about me 'pressing her buttons'.
I don't care, I will keep on until I find the 'Mute'...

[vetran]

I walked up to the girl at the bar, "My mate wants me to tell you that he thinks you're hot."
"Does he now?" she replied, "And what's your mate's name?"
"Dave, but we call him Coconut."
"Let me guess... He's thick and hairy."
"No... he's shy."

[vetran]

Just saw blood stains all over the sharp edges of a wooden ledge in my kitchen

Then noticed my goth daughter has cuts and splinters all over her forearms

... I think she might be shelf harming

[BR14]

Watching a BBC comedy show. I'm still waiting for the comedy to start.

quite

[vetran]

For PC

Did you know that the phrase "playing the field" originated in Wales?

[vetran]

An unemployed Jester is nobody's fool!

[vetran]

Watching a BBC comedy show. I'm still waiting for the comedy to start.

[vetran]

Being a gynaecologist is boring, same day different slit.

[vetran]

I'm praying Alec Baldwin starts filming with Adam Sandler soon.

[vetran]

I saw an ex-Coronation Street actor and a jockey on the set of a children's TV show in Scotland.

Watts, Detori, in Balamory, wouldn't you like to know?

[vetran]

I keep eating my feather pillow in my sleep. It’s really starting to depress me.

Down in the dumps?

I don’t know, I haven’t been yet.

That's a tulip joke.

[WTFH]

I keep eating my feather pillow in my sleep. It’s really starting to depress me.

Down in the dumps?

I don’t know, I haven’t been yet.