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Previously on "Please put more jokes here"

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  • vetran
    replied
    My leg won't stop mooing.

    I think I've got a calf injury

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    [ first day working at a pet store ]
    customer: can i see that fish bowl?
    me: sure let me get his shoes

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    My husband has been having an affair with a women from Nice.

    French with benefits.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    My girlfriend moans about me 'pressing her buttons'.
    I don't care, I will keep on until I find the 'Mute'...

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I walked up to the girl at the bar, "My mate wants me to tell you that he thinks you're hot."
    "Does he now?" she replied, "And what's your mate's name?"
    "Dave, but we call him Coconut."
    "Let me guess... He's thick and hairy."
    "No... he's shy."

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Just saw blood stains all over the sharp edges of a wooden ledge in my kitchen

    Then noticed my goth daughter has cuts and splinters all over her forearms

    ... I think she might be shelf harming

    Leave a comment:


  • BR14
    replied
    Originally posted by vetran View Post
    Watching a BBC comedy show. I'm still waiting for the comedy to start.
    quite

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    For PC

    Did you know that the phrase "playing the field" originated in Wales?

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    An unemployed Jester is nobody's fool!

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Watching a BBC comedy show. I'm still waiting for the comedy to start.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Being a gynaecologist is boring, same day different slit.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I'm praying Alec Baldwin starts filming with Adam Sandler soon.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I saw an ex-Coronation Street actor and a jockey on the set of a children's TV show in Scotland.

    Watts, Detori, in Balamory, wouldn't you like to know?

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Originally posted by WTFH View Post
    I keep eating my feather pillow in my sleep. It’s really starting to depress me.

    Down in the dumps?

    I don’t know, I haven’t been yet.
    That's a tulip joke.

    Leave a comment:


  • WTFH
    replied
    I keep eating my feather pillow in my sleep. It’s really starting to depress me.

    Down in the dumps?

    I don’t know, I haven’t been yet.

    Leave a comment:

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