• Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
Collapse

You are not logged in or you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:

  • You are not logged in. If you are already registered, fill in the form below to log in, or follow the "Sign Up" link to register a new account.
  • You may not have sufficient privileges to access this page. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
  • If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation.

Previously on "Please put more jokes here"

Collapse

  • vetran
    replied
    The best part of being a scientist is having your hard work and research questioned by people who spent every science class peeling glue from their hands.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Spiderman - just another guy who ends up with sticky hands after using the Web.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Before the crash, I wonder if Lewis Hamilton shouted "on me 'ead, son"?

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I sat at the junction, gazing spellbound at the ethereal green and red swirls glowing mystically above me.

    I think it was the Northern Traffic Lights.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    The sign said, "No shirt, no shoes, no service."

    So I stopped going to church in swimwear.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Santa Claus was asked if he wants to be buried when he dies.

    No , he said , he'd sooner go up the chimney.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    The very short dwarf knocked on my door about the position I advertised and asked what I wanted him to do.
    "Stand by my piano and keep time," I said,

    "My instructor said I need to get a metre gnome."

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    My wife has just had a huge dildo delivered in a plain brown envelope.

    I’ve called it her “Thriller in Manila”

    Leave a comment:


  • NotAllThere
    replied
    How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb?

    Despite what Big Bulb tells you, humans can see perfectly well without "light".

    Or...

    None. I'll rely on my natural bioluminescence.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    This week is "International Clitoris Awareness Week."

    Like most men, I was unaware this week even existed...

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Most women are "bi".

    The trick is to work out if that ends with "Sexual", or "Polar" before you ask them out.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    My wife told me I need to get in touch with my feminine side.

    So I stopped talking to her for 3 days and whenever she asked me what was wrong I said "nothing it doesnt matter" and then I went out and crashed the car

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Saw a post from a friend on Facebook the other day. "just finished a half marathon, so proud of myself".

    That's nothing special, I had a king size Mars bar the other day.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Hold it firmly in your hand, put it in your mouth, lick it, straighten it and put it in the hole.

    It’s time to sew the labels in the kids shirts again

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    BBC News - Australian mother's joy at being reunited with boy lost in bush.

    Bloody hell, how unkempt must her fanny have been?

    Leave a comment:

Working...
X