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Previously on "Please put more jokes here"

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  • WTFH
    replied
    I keep eating my feather pillow in my sleep. It’s really starting to depress me.

    Down in the dumps?

    I don’t know, I haven’t been yet.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    The Wombles were planning a trip to the Olympic park in Stratford.
    "We can go on the District line or the Overground".
    "How much will the train cost?".
    "It won't cost anything".
    "Why?"
    "Underground, Overground Wombles are free".

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Police pulled over a hazelnut chocolate for doing 130 on the m1.

    It was a Ferrari Rocher

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    What nationality were Adam and Eve?

    Soviet, of course. Who else would well around barefoot and naked, have an apple to share between them, and think they were in Paradise?

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    A dyslexic criminal enters a library looking for a shorter sentence.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    For blokes everywhere

    Can't believe the Government's issued a directive to get your Xmas shopping early because of supply issues..

    For ****s sake, I'll have to do it on December 23rd now..

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    News: William Shatner, 90, becomes oldest person in space.

    Upon return, his nappies were filled with Klingons

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Every time I see my fat mate I always take the piss and ask him why he hasn't started jogging yet.

    It's a running joke.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    What's a vegan's favourite website?

    QuornHub

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    actually not funny

    With the media reporting on all the shortages in the country I'm surprised there's been no mention so far of common sense, forward planning and a competent government.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I've just tried the new recipe lower fat and reduced salt KFC. It's a lot like my jokes.

    Not funny, but utterly tasteless.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    "Five people were killed in a bow and arrow attack in Norway."

    "Feck. Was it a crossbow?"

    "Well, it wasn't a very happy one."

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Beyoncé has stared a support group for women suffering from Herpes Zoster.

    It's for all the Shingle ladies.

    Leave a comment:


  • NotAllThere
    replied
    I went to a fancy dress party as a mushroom. I wanted people to think I was a fungi to be with.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    For Warty

    Not saying I’m unattractive, but last night my right hand told me it had a headache.

    Leave a comment:

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