Reply to: Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

Taliban: Allah forbids music!

God: Shake, Rattle and Roll!

[vetran]

BREAKING NEWS:

Anguish of young man who had sex organs removed on NHS then regretted it the same day... as he SUES NHS over gender reassignment surgery. - Daily Mail - UK

Just like a woman to change her mind.

[vetran]

They now include a pen with some packs of condoms. So if you cant come you can write.

[vetran]

Carlsberg is to conduct its biggest trial of recyclable fibre beer bottles across Europe.

If the trial is successful, the next stage is to try putting some decent beer in them.

[vetran]

My car just ran out of petrol. My insurance company have deemed it a write off

[vetran]

What happens when you make a noise in Ninja Church?

The nun chucks you out.

[vetran]

Do trees tulip in the woods?

Of course they do. How else would we get Number 2 pencils?

[vetran]

BREAKING NEWS:

Paul McCartney celebrates his 80th birthday with Stella in Mykonos. - Daily Mail UK

You would think with all his wealth, he would have bought at least ONE bottle of Champagne.

[vetran]

To celebrate our wedding anniversary, the wife asked me to book a romantic restaurant.

To show her truly how much I care, I sent her a photo of my meal.

[vetran]

With an energy crisis and soaring inflation rates, and mass industrial action on the way, some people have suggested Britain is reliving the 1970s.

Nonsense.

Back then, there was good music on the radio.

[WTFH]

They call everything woke these days, even going to sleep and then getting up.

[vetran]

What's a Welshman's favourite love song?


(Everything I do) I Do It For Ewe.

[vetran]

Records numbers of Islamic migrants coming in from Calais into Britain.

If this don't stop, the Americans will soon be invading us for oil.

[vetran]

They say this country is ran by idiots, that's probably true, but there's idiots everywhere.

My Wife says she's married to one.

[vetran]

Just saw a recent photo of Kate Bush.
I don't think she'll be running anywhere.