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Previously on "Please put more jokes here"

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  • vetran
    replied
    I was halfway through telling the group about how much Johnson's baby powder I use when the guy at the front interrupted me.
    "Sorry mate, but I think you're in the wrong room," he said. "Talcoholics anonymous is next door."

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    How many prostitutes does it take to paint a house?
    Asking as the prices quoted by painters in my area are getting ridiculous.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    North Korea is testing out a rocket that some believe is going to be launched to the moon. The problem is they can’t find an astronaut who will go to the moon and then willingly return to North Korea.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Gok Wan's bisexual brother is doing a book signing and, for every book sold this week, Gok is adding his signature too.


    It's Bi Wan, Gok Wan free.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Kerry Katona?

    One's a despot and the other's desperate.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Doesn't it make you proud to hear Thomas Bach of Germany, President of the International Olympic Committee, address the world at the Tokyo Olympics?





    In English.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    People say you never see white dog turds in this country any more.

    Nonsense. Tommy Robinson and Katie Hopkins are always in the news.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I've just completed a course in critical thinking. It was rubbish.

    Leave a comment:


  • NotAllThere
    replied
    Originally posted by BR14 View Post
    you really are about as funny as a terminal cancer diagnosis.
    Genius.
    It's the way you tell 'em.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Congratulations to Jeff Bezos on the successful touchdown of his space capsule...



    ...his second-most expensive separation in a year.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    My wife watches Judge Judy religiously.

    She's practicing Judyism.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    There's a hurricane hitting where I live right now which reminds me of that old joke:

    Why is a woman like a hurricane?

    They're not. I get a day off work when a hurricane comes.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I once met Roy Rogers on a river boat in Germany smoking weed. He was a Rhine stoned cowboy.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Onomatopoeia: It's exactly what it sounds like.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Now I know why Bezos got divorced....his cock rocket could only stay up for 10 minutes

    Leave a comment:

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