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Previously on "Please put more jokes here"

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  • vetran
    replied
    I just saw a dyslexic bloke with a load of spaghetti stuck in his arm.


    He'd just had his pasta zeneca jab.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    What a touching and brilliant idea to hold a remembrance service for Prince Philip today.

    I'd nearly forgotten..

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Has NLYUK hired Wossey?

    A prostitute told me I could have sex with her for the reduced rate of £10 as she didn't have a womb.
    Intrigued, I asked how we would do it?
    She replied "Acwoss the woad, against those wailings."

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I can only imagine the response when Prince Andrew dies, I think it’s fair to say he touched more people than Philip.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    AstraZeneca are praying the cause of death wasn't a blood clot.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    As a Tribute to Prince Philip, the FA have announced all Premier League players will wear black armbands this weekend.
    Piss taking feckers.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Westminster Abbey will look a bit sparse with 30 people in it.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Harry turns to Meghan and says "My Granddad just died."

    "Oh no," she says "and on the same day as Prince Philip!"

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Somebody has ripped out all the pages in the Library dictionary, from RE to RH, there is no Rhyme, Nor Reason.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    It's a dark day in Buckingham palace. I wonder how dark?

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Range Rover for sale.

    One careless owner.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    So Prince Phillip died in the queen's arms,,,double standards, I haven't been allowed in a pub for months

    Leave a comment:


  • NotAllThere
    replied
    How safe are food supplements, really?

    I knocked a big jar of Omega-3 capsules onto my foot, though fortunately it only gave me super fish oil injuries.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    A major guitar manufacturer has released a new model dedicated to COVID-19.
    Next week sees the release of the Fender Batocaster

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    A guitarist was shagging this fit woman when when her husband walked in on them,

    "What the **** do you think you're doing?" he yelled.

    "I told you he was stupid, " said the woman, "never marry a drummer. "

    Leave a comment:

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