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Previously on "Please put more jokes here"

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  • vetran
    replied
    We buy any Car are total rubbish. I took Jimmy and Alan to my local branch but they wouldn't buy them.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    What's the difference between Prince Harry and Scotland? Prince Harry was given permission to leave the UK...

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I'm not saying I've had a hard day, but I feel as knackered as Carol Vorderman's bedsprings..

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    ...and then he kicked my sandcastle over at the beach and said "That's because you'll never have one!"

    --Prince Harry.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I've just bumped into a mate who I hav'nt seen for a while, he says he's gonna divorce the wife because she has'nt spoken to him for 3 months, I told him not to be so hasty and think things thru - women like that are hard to find !

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Milf egghead Carol Vorderman loves maths so much that she & her quintet of male lovers always share oral sex daily at quarter to four.

    Why?

    Because 69 x 5 = 345

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    So, I understand that you have an issue with your genitals?? asked my doctor.

    Yes, I replied, My left one is bigger than my right one.?

    ?That?s perfectly normal,? he laughed, ?This is common in most men!?

    ?That?s a relief,? I said, ?And there was me thinking that nobody else had two cocks.?

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I've just bought a few copies of Prince Harry's new book.

    Just in case we go back into lockdown and the bastards start buying up all the toilet roll again

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I had a car crash last night. As I woke up the doctors tried to tell me I was a Swedish guy and that I had lost my memory.

    But I wasnt having it, I told them I wasn't Bjorn yesterday.

    Leave a comment:


  • WTFH
    replied
    Just got arrested for shoplifting at Waterstones. Not my fault. I asked if they had any spare books and they said yes. (Tim Vine)

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    If a blackbird has black babies.
    And a bluebird has blue babies.
    Which bird has no babies?


    A swallow...

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    When you ask for someone's name, you're basically asking them what noise you should make to get their attention.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    BBC NEWS
    Prince Harry: 'I want my father and brother back'

    I didn't know James Hewitt had another son!

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I went to the sperm bank today and the nurse asked me if I want to mastubate in the cup.

    I thought about it for a moment and replied, I'm good but not quite ready for a competition yet.

    Leave a comment:


  • Paddy
    replied
    Originally posted by NotAllThere View Post

    Well, there's not much point in flattening the Netherlands, is there?
    NL is not absolutely flat. I had to cycle from below sea level, uphill to get to Scheveningen beach!

    Leave a comment:

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