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Previously on "Please put more jokes here"

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  • WTFH
    replied
    This year I’m doing No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-No-November - where for the month of November I only listen to 2-Unlimited

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Originally posted by sadkingbilly View Post



    death by OVERheating? - really?
    waw
    sorry missed that.

    Leave a comment:


  • sadkingbilly
    replied
    Originally posted by vetran View Post
    What are the government giving the elderly this winter????


    Hyperthermia
    Originally posted by vetran View Post

    Oddly enough yes from their own calculations.

    https://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...-b2609340.html
    death by OVERheating? - really?
    waw

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Churchill: We shall fight them on the beaches!.

    Thatcher: The lady's not for turning!.

    Starmer: It was an honest mistake that I forgot to declare that a fat, gay Bengali millionaire pays for my wife's drawers!.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Originally posted by sadkingbilly View Post

    really?
    Oddly enough yes from their own calculations.

    https://www.independent.co.uk/news/u...-b2609340.html

    Cut to winter fuel payment could kill 4,000 people, Labour’s own research suggests


    Analysis published by Labour in 2017 said plans to means test winter fuel payments would be the ‘single biggest attack on pensioners in a generation’

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I discovered a tiny space in a Scotsmans loft, where he was keeping whisky miniatures, I thought this is a little dram-attic.

    Leave a comment:


  • sadkingbilly
    replied
    Originally posted by vetran View Post
    What are the government giving the elderly this winter????


    Hyperthermia
    really?

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    What are the government giving the elderly this winter????


    Hyperthermia

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Trump claims immigrants are eating cats and dogs.

    That's nothing, just wait until winter in the UK, pensioners will be eating Tiddles and Rex as well.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I took my clarinet back to the music shop, "I don't know what it is, " I said, "I can only seem to be able to play one tune on it, Perfect Day, nothing else seems right or in tune. " "Let's have a look, " said the assistant as he dismantled my clarinet, "ha, there's the problem, looks like it was fitted with a Lou Reed. "

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Click image for larger version

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    classic song

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    The water in Britain's rivers is made up of three elements. H, for hydrogen O for Oxygen and the number 2 in the middle for all the tulip.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    It was good enough for Her Majesty apparently?

    'Mother Superior, she's dying. All the nuns gathered round the bed and one nun said "well we must offer Mother Superior a fresh glass of water".

    'So they duly did that and Mother Superior dismissed it and said "take it away, I don't want that".

    'So they went a little bit further and the nun said "I know, let's capture our very best cow and we'll milk her and offer a fresh glass of milk." They offered Mother Superior this fresh glass of milk and Mother Superior said "don't want it, take it away".

    'A very naughty nun said "I know, let's put a real good glug of whisky in the milk - see if that will work".

    'So they duly did that and Mother Superior drank the whole darn thing down.'

    'The inevitable happened two days later, that Mother Superior is going to pass into the better world, and all the nuns gathered round her bed and said "do you have any final requests", and she said "yes, I just have one: whatever you do, do not sell that cow".'

    Leave a comment:


  • WTFH
    replied
    Little known fact.Richard Gere’s dad, Gottler, was a famous Swedish ventriloquist.

    Leave a comment:


  • WTFH
    replied
    A little girl complained to her father,
    "Daddy, I wish I had a little sister!"
    Trying to be funny, her father joked, "But honey, you already have a sister!"
    Confused, the toddler asked, "I do?"
    "Sure," her dad said, pulling the kid's chain. "You don't see her because every time you come in the front door, she scoots out the back door!"
    The confused toddler thought for a moment and then beamed, "You mean just like my other daddy?

    Leave a comment:

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