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Previously on "Please put more jokes here"

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  • vetran
    replied
    A quantum experiment carried out by physicists indicates two versions of reality existing at the same time.

    Bet James Corden's a fat twit in both of 'em.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Trying to find a fit bird at the pub is similar to playing crazy golf.

    You want to get to the perfect hole but your balls always end up bouncing off some hippo's teeth.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    It?s Liverpool v Glasgow to see who hosts Eurovision.

    If you want it to be a close contest give it to the city with the most teenage pregnancy.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I wonder how they are going to make slavery responsible for Kwasi Kwarteng being a tulip chancellor

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    STD's

    Proof that you're having sex with someone besides yourself.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Kwasi Kwarteng delivers on his promise to make stamp duty a thing of the past by ensuring nobody can get a mortgage.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Nothing says joined up asylum policy, like 2 groups of Iranians scrapping outside the Iranian Embassy in London, after they've been granted asylum - from each other.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Why did the blonde only change her baby's nappy once a week?
    Because the packaging said 'Up to 10 kilos'

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Vladimir Putin signed a decree on Monday granting Russian citizenship to the US whistleblower Edward Snowden.

    I have to say, for all the tulip Putin has pulled that's actually a step in the right direction.

    Of course, Snowden won't be happy tomorrow when he gets his call-up papers in the mail.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I saw a midget climbing down a prison wall..

    I thought that?s a little condescending ...

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I went in to my local florist and I said " I would like to buy a bunch of flowers for my wife"

    The florist said " Certainly sir, what is it you're after?"

    "A shag" I said

    Leave a comment:


  • rik sherman
    replied
    Iamonthemoonandthereisnowheretogetabeer.

    Thereisnospacebar.

    Leave a comment:


  • Paddy
    replied
    I was put off private music lessons because there was a minim charge.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    The gender neutral term for sugar daddy is fructose financer.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Going to London to queue for hours to see a dead person.

    Uk the extreme rubber necking world champions 2022

    Leave a comment:

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