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Previously on "Please put more jokes here"

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  • NotAllThere
    replied
    Have you heard of the Nu variant?

    Nu variant? What's Nu?

    Not much, what's Nu with you?

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    For SE:

    Man lost for words when asked by his wife "what is mansplaining ?"
    Last edited by vetran; 25 November 2021, 15:56.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    That you Boris?

    Breaking News Headlines. The Daily Express have just announced that Peppa Pig is pregnant.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I was trekking through the lake district, so far out that when I looked around there was no one to be seen when I stumbled across a load of TV controllers just scattered around everywhere.

    It was a remote area.

    Leave a comment:


  • WTFH
    replied
    A Cowboy walks into a German car dealership and says:
    “Audi”

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Thank god. I’ve finally reached the age, where I can pretend to be hard of hearing with my wife...

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Prince Andrews diary has just been made public.

    His last entry was thirteen years old.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Eddie redmayne apologises for playing the role of a trans gender person in a film as the trans community feels that the role should've been filled out by someone who was actually trans.

    I wonder if serial killers feel the same way when watching horrors.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Why do mice have such small balls?

    Because very few of them know how to dance.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Me and the missus went to a Tudor themed fancy dress, wearing black balaclavas, deeley boppers and black and yellow scarves.

    As Henry the 8th's two wives that were "Bee headed".

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I've just purchased four suits for £1.

    I bought a deck of cards.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Just before I have sex, I always get dizzy.

    I probably should get a pump for this blow up doll.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    I've just had a sneak preview of one of the forthcoming episodes of Doctor Who where the doctor has to save the human race from a gender confused Dalek who doesn't want to exterminate humans. Instead it wants to go shopping for handbags and shoes and have it's weapon replaced with a nice little glove box to store makeup in. The BBC say it's the best episode ever and want to show everyone that anything can be anything they choose.

    The majority of the BBC of course, choose to be paedophiles.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Panto

    I've been ripped off again!

    I paid a joiner to make a double bed and he's done a bunk..

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    A friend had his second dose of the vaccine at a vaccination centre and began to have blurred vision on the way home.
    When he got home he immediately called the people at the vaccination centre for advice and asked if he should go to a doctor or a hospital.
    He was told to NOT go to a doctor or a hospital, but to return to the vaccination centre and pick-up his glasses.

    Leave a comment:

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