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Previously on "Please put more jokes here"

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  • WTFH
    replied
    What Blue and tastes like Red paint?





    Blue paint.

    Leave a comment:


  • WTFH
    replied
    What's blue and not very heavy?



    Light blue.

    Leave a comment:


  • WTFH
    replied
    My dad used to have a job at a helium balloon factory until they let him go.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Nothing makes a 4th of July more independent than shooting off fireworks that are made in China.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Phew. Independence Day over and no alien invasion to deal with. I was worried - Will Smith is always involved and is clearly Earth's primary defender. He knocked one of the invaders out with one punch back in the 90's, but his lame Chris Rock bitch slap shows Earth's is now vulnerable to attack.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    There was a young man from Poole, Who found a red ring on his tool, So he went to the clinic,

    But the doctor, a cynic, Said, use WD40, it's lipstick, you fool.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    My son begged me to buy him a Theremin.

    But then he never even touched it.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Doctor, doctor. I keep thinking I'm a supermarket.
    Doctor: How long have you felt like this?
    Me: Since I was Lidl.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Flaming British tradesmen!
    Just paid a chippie £300 to build me a double bed and the idiot has done a bunk!

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    First time I met my wife I immediately thought "what an arse"
    Sadly, so did she about me.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Welcome to the Assumption Club.

    I think we all know why we're here.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    '...My Dentist says I need a crown.

    FINALLY!

    Someone who appreciates me.'

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    Nobody was interested in my carpentry class until I offered to teach them how to make glory holes.

    Now they're all coming out of the woodwork.

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    What's black and white and desperate for attention?

    Gary Linekar

    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    If it weren't for Arabs we'd never have 9/11.

    Instead we'd have IX/XI.

    Leave a comment:

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