Reply to: Please put more jokes here

[vetran]

I just saw a dyslexic bloke with a load of spaghetti stuck in his arm.


He'd just had his pasta zeneca jab.

[vetran]

What a touching and brilliant idea to hold a remembrance service for Prince Philip today.

I'd nearly forgotten..

[vetran]

Has NLYUK hired Wossey?

A prostitute told me I could have sex with her for the reduced rate of £10 as she didn't have a womb.
Intrigued, I asked how we would do it?
She replied "Acwoss the woad, against those wailings."

[vetran]

I can only imagine the response when Prince Andrew dies, I think it’s fair to say he touched more people than Philip.

[vetran]

AstraZeneca are praying the cause of death wasn't a blood clot.

[vetran]

As a Tribute to Prince Philip, the FA have announced all Premier League players will wear black armbands this weekend.
Piss taking feckers.

[vetran]

Westminster Abbey will look a bit sparse with 30 people in it.

[vetran]

Harry turns to Meghan and says "My Granddad just died."

"Oh no," she says "and on the same day as Prince Philip!"

[vetran]

Somebody has ripped out all the pages in the Library dictionary, from RE to RH, there is no Rhyme, Nor Reason.

[vetran]

It's a dark day in Buckingham palace. I wonder how dark?

[vetran]

Range Rover for sale.

One careless owner.

[vetran]

So Prince Phillip died in the queen's arms,,,double standards, I haven't been allowed in a pub for months

[NotAllThere]

How safe are food supplements, really?

I knocked a big jar of Omega-3 capsules onto my foot, though fortunately it only gave me super fish oil injuries.

[vetran]

A major guitar manufacturer has released a new model dedicated to COVID-19.
Next week sees the release of the Fender Batocaster

[vetran]

A guitarist was shagging this fit woman when when her husband walked in on them,

"What the **** do you think you're doing?" he yelled.

"I told you he was stupid, " said the woman, "never marry a drummer. "