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Previously on "Nightmare Accomodation Scenario"

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  • EternalOptimist
    replied
    Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
    PM me then EO, liven up my Friday night.
    well one of them I can tell publicly.
    I have no way of knowing if this is true, but it was a story that went the rounds in Liverpool a couple of decades ago.

    A family from Bootle were on the hols on the costa del sol, and the apartment was turned over by burgulars. they stripped the joint, apart from the bathroom, and for some strange reason they didnt nick the expensive camera. So the family replaced what items they could afford to, and made do.

    when they got home they had their films developed, and one shot, from the night of the break-in, was of four male Spanish bums, bent over with four toothbrushes shoved up where the sol dont shine



    Leave a comment:


  • Paddy
    replied
    Originally posted by wurzel View Post
    Just one more thing. Yesterday she locked me in. I went to the front door to go to work & she'd locked it on the mortice lock - I only have the yale key. Mobile phone was dead (left charger outside in car) so I couldn't phone her. All windows with window locks & couldnt find any keys. Finally managed to get attention of a passer by by jumping around like a lunatic in front of the living room window & he knocked up the neighbours. Took nearly 2 hours in all. When she finally came to let me out all the cheeky cow could say was that at least I'd had plenty of time for a relaxing breakfast. And you say you're crying!
    Go and buy a sexy pair of size 10 panties and leave them in the couple's bed. The wait for the evening.

    Leave a comment:


  • MaryPoppins
    replied
    Originally posted by EternalOptimist View Post
    mp, i am dying to tell you my toothbrush anecdote now. ooo and i have an electric toothbush story as well



    PM me then EO, liven up my Friday night.

    Leave a comment:


  • EternalOptimist
    replied
    Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
    Excellent. There's so much you can do with a toothbrush and toothpaste.
    mp, i am dying to tell you my toothbrush anecdote now. ooo and i have an electric toothbush story as well



    Leave a comment:


  • vetran
    replied
    its your own fault a woman scorned, didn't you realise it was a 'fully serviced rent'.

    Some people

    Leave a comment:


  • Scrag Meister
    replied
    Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
    Excellent. There's so much you can do with a toothbrush and toothpaste.
    Finished watching the Godfather trilogy that was was aired over New year and was amazed athe guy who was stabbed in the neck with a pair of glasses!!

    Cats, maybe a cat's head in her bed?

    Leave a comment:


  • RichardCranium
    replied
    Originally posted by wurzel View Post
    Nightmare Accommodation Scenario
    Sorry, I know it's , but the tune has being going round in my head now since this thread started.

    John Shuttleworth - Two Margarines, Nightmare Scenario < music video: you decide if SFW or NSFW>

    Look out for the photo of GricerBoy coming out of his shed.




    <sniff> <cough>

    Leave a comment:


  • MaryPoppins
    replied
    Originally posted by MarillionFan View Post
    Hopefully the details I have given him will suffice. The guy is just out of jail after 20 years for beating a lodger to death with a tube of toothpaste, so we may get some good stories after all.
    Excellent. There's so much you can do with a toothbrush and toothpaste.

    Leave a comment:


  • MarillionFan
    replied
    Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
    No, he wasn't that much of a muppet.

    I think you should have stayed there and entertained us with weekly updates.
    Hopefully the details I have given him will suffice. The guy is just out of jail after 20 years for beating a lodger to death with a tube of toothpaste, so we may get some good stories after all.

    Leave a comment:


  • MaryPoppins
    replied
    Originally posted by wurzel View Post
    That's uncanny then coz I've never even seen that show. Did he even have a dead mobile with his charger locked in the car?

    No, he wasn't that much of a muppet.

    I think you should have stayed there and entertained us with weekly updates.

    Leave a comment:


  • wurzel
    replied
    Originally posted by MaryPoppins View Post
    Snap. I was about to ask if he'd got a pizza delivered through the front door, slice by slice.
    That's uncanny then coz I've never even seen that show. Did he even have a dead mobile with his charger locked in the car?

    Leave a comment:


  • MaryPoppins
    replied
    Originally posted by Bagpuss View Post
    Wasn't this an episode of peep show about 3 weeks ago?
    Snap. I was about to ask if he'd got a pizza delivered through the front door, slice by slice.

    Leave a comment:


  • Bagpuss
    replied
    Originally posted by wurzel View Post
    Just one more thing. Yesterday she locked me in. I went to the front door to go to work & she'd locked it on the mortice lock - I only have the yale key. Mobile phone was dead (left charger outside in car) so I couldn't phone her. All windows with window locks & couldnt find any keys. Finally managed to get attention of a passer by by jumping around like a lunatic in front of the living room window & he knocked up the neighbours. Took nearly 2 hours in all. When she finally came to let me out all the cheeky cow could say was that at least I'd had plenty of time for a relaxing breakfast. And you say you're crying!
    Wasn't this an episode of peep show about 3 weeks ago?

    Leave a comment:


  • Peoplesoft bloke
    replied
    Originally posted by PRC1964 View Post
    No one with 8 cats is attractive or sane. This is a law of nature.
    agreed with above slight change

    Leave a comment:


  • Clippy
    replied
    Originally posted by PRC1964 View Post
    No one with 8 cats is attractive. This is a law of nature.
    Fair point - sounds like she could be in Public Sector marketing.

    Leave a comment:

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