- Visitors can check out the Forum FAQ by clicking this link. You have to register before you can post: click the REGISTER link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. View our Forum Privacy Policy.
- Want to receive the latest contracting news and advice straight to your inbox? Sign up to the ContractorUK newsletter here. Every sign up will also be entered into a draw to WIN £100 Amazon vouchers!
Reply to: Songs for your funeral
Collapse
You are not logged in or you do not have permission to access this page. This could be due to one of several reasons:
- You are not logged in. If you are already registered, fill in the form below to log in, or follow the "Sign Up" link to register a new account.
- You may not have sufficient privileges to access this page. Are you trying to edit someone else's post, access administrative features or some other privileged system?
- If you are trying to post, the administrator may have disabled your account, or it may be awaiting activation.
Logging in...
Previously on "Songs for your funeral"
Collapse
-
Originally posted by BrilloPad View PostUsually we have to pay for that round here. Though NLyUK is quite cheap.
Reminds me of my time at Chase Bank on equity option desk. A new secretary joined. Young. Very pretty. A trader asked her out. She said yes. On the date, he asked where she wanted to go. She said a lap dancing club. When there, she asked a stripper for a private dance. She touch the stripper up and they both got thrown out.
He was mortified. So when she invited him home, he said no. She replied "It will be fun. I will make bleed from every orifice."
No-one ever asked her out again.....
Leave a comment:
-
Originally posted by mb31 View PostIf the hat fits I'll happily wear it. I prefer self depreciation.
Perhaps if I survive for the next 35 years on here then you can all turn up to my funeral and slag me off as part of the eulogy. As a ghost I'd pissing myself when I've finished giving you a ghost golden shower and penetrating you in every which way.
Reminds me of my time at Chase Bank on equity option desk. A new secretary joined. Young. Very pretty. A trader asked her out. She said yes. On the date, he asked where she wanted to go. She said a lap dancing club. When there, she asked a stripper for a private dance. She touch the stripper up and they both got thrown out.
He was mortified. So when she invited him home, he said no. She replied "It will be fun. I will make bleed from every orifice."
No-one ever asked her out again.....
Leave a comment:
-
Originally posted by mb31 View PostIf the hat fits I'll happily wear it. I prefer self depreciation.
Perhaps if I survive for the next 35 years on here
The very thought of another 35 years like the last one makes me cringe.
Leave a comment:
-
Originally posted by mb31 View PostIf the hat fits I'll happily wear it. I prefer self depreciation.
Perhaps if I survive for the next 35 years on here then you can all turn up to my funeral and slag me off as part of the eulogy. As a ghost I'd pissing myself when I've finished giving you a ghost golden shower and penetrating you in every which way.
Leave a comment:
-
Originally posted by DoctorStrangelove View PostWhatever happened to "More fingers than teeth"?
Just askin' like.
Perhaps if I survive for the next 35 years on here then you can all turn up to my funeral and slag me off as part of the eulogy. As a ghost I'd pissing myself when I've finished giving you a ghost golden shower and penetrating you in every which way.
Leave a comment:
-
Originally posted by mb31 View PostFor example, look at the titles and reputation comments we have. Mine is
mb31 is too good to be a permie
Just askin' like.
Leave a comment:
-
Originally posted by Whorty View PostSo speaks the man who is always on top? Cowboy?
Mine is "scorchio!" which is about right. I am hot
otherwise yours would be rather different.
maybe 'bampotus maximus' or 'ultimus tosserus'
hmmmm.............
Leave a comment:
-
BR I still don't understand the abbreviations so I'm going to assume you're saying something nice and thank you.
My wife is a psychiatric nurse and she's trained in restraint and giving unruly patients depot injections. If medication compliance is a genuine problem for you then PM me and I'll arrange some "treatment" gratis.
Leave a comment:
- Home
- News & Features
- First Timers
- IR35 / S660 / BN66
- Employee Benefit Trusts
- Agency Workers Regulations
- MSC Legislation
- Limited Companies
- Dividends
- Umbrella Company
- VAT / Flat Rate VAT
- Job News & Guides
- Money News & Guides
- Guide to Contracts
- Successful Contracting
- Contracting Overseas
- Contractor Calculators
- MVL
- Contractor Expenses
Advertisers
Contractor Services
CUK News
- Secondary NI threshold sinking to £5,000: a limited company director’s explainer Dec 24 09:51
- Reeves sets Spring Statement 2025 for March 26th Dec 23 09:18
- Spot the hidden contractor Dec 20 10:43
- Accounting for Contractors Dec 19 15:30
- Chartered Accountants with MarchMutual Dec 19 15:05
- Chartered Accountants with March Mutual Dec 19 15:05
- Chartered Accountants Dec 19 15:05
- Unfairly barred from contracting? Petrofac just paid the price Dec 19 09:43
- An IR35 case law look back: contractor must-knows for 2025-26 Dec 18 09:30
- A contractor’s Autumn Budget financial review Dec 17 10:59
Leave a comment: