Permanent Resource Impeding Pogress

[fullyautomatix]

who owns all these sockies?????

Feck knows. The only clue we have is that it is a fat lazy bearded bloke who sits naked on his bed all day and eats KFC buckets to survive. His only entertainment channel is CUK unfortunately and we have to put up with his poor efforts once in a while.

[greenlake]

Poor Marge.

Open the canal lock gates, HAL.

Poor old barge.

Shame. Up shіt creek without a paddle....

[WTFH]

who owns all these sockies

No, Who owns a TARDIS.

[original PM]

who owns all these sockies?????

[cojak]

:

[fullyautomatix]

Poor Marge.

[WTFH]

What are you trying to say Dave?

I don't know, HAL.

[northernladuk]

Feck off. No you aren't, feck off. That would be The Hydrographic Office,given your prediliction for the South West of England, and no you aren't. Feck off No you're not. Feck off. No you haven't. Feck off. There s no team. Feck off.

First true thing you've said. Typical PS roles actually exist. Feck off. No you haven't. Feck off Only becasue they aren't actually paying you anything. Feck off Difficult when nothing was being produced to begin with. Feck off. Yes it has, 'cos there is nothing for them to actually notice. Feck Off.

No you haven't. Feck off. You mean non-existant ears. Feck off How about Hell? Now feck off. Difficult, when he doesn't even exist. Feck off Everything you do is simple, as it mostly involves posting bulltulip on here. Feck Off.

No, because we actually have real gigs and don't post pointless bollocks on here instead of having a life. Feck off. No you don't. Feck off. There is no team. Feck off. he doesnt exist. Feck off. there is no 'we'. Feck off. NONE OF THIS IS REAL. NOW FECK THE FECK OFF!

What are you trying to say Dave?

[DaveB]

Greetings all

Feck off.

I'm a scrum master

No you aren't, feck off.

on a project with a certain governmental cartographic agency.

That would be The Hydrographic Office,given your prediliction for the South West of England, and no you aren't. Feck off

We're approximately 75% through the development phase of this project

No you're not. Feck off.

and just as the deadlines start to get a bit aggressive we've had an inexperienced permanent developer foisted upon us.

No you haven't. Feck off.

For the record, up until this point, the team has comprised 100% contractor resource.

There s no team. Feck off.

This isn't any typical PS role -

First true thing you've said. Typical PS roles actually exist. Feck off.

we've worked hard for this

No you haven't. Feck off

& they are getting their money's worth

Only becasue they aren't actually paying you anything. Feck off

so the subsequent dip in productivity

Difficult when nothing was being produced to begin with. Feck off.

that has occurred since this new team member was onboarded hasn't gone unnoticed by the business.

Yes it has, 'cos there is nothing for them to actually notice. Feck Off.

I have taken this to the IT programme manager

No you haven't. Feck off.

but it's fallen on deaf ears

You mean non-existant ears. Feck off

and there's really nowhere else I can go with this.

How about Hell? Now feck off.

The only way forward I can see is to try and divvy up all the real noddy jobs and give those to him

Difficult, when he doesn't even exist. Feck off

- but even then, nothing we do is that simple given our application area.

Everything you do is simple, as it mostly involves posting bulltulip on here. Feck Off.

Was just wondering if anyone else has found themselves in this situation?

No, because we actually have real gigs and don't post pointless bollocks on here instead of having a life. Feck off.

Bottom line is, we need another permie

No you don't. Feck off.

on the team

There is no team. Feck off.

to call him out

he doesnt exist. Feck off.

but since we don't have that

there is no 'we'. Feck off.

it looks like the buck stops with us contractors through no fault of our own.

NONE OF THIS IS REAL. NOW FECK THE FECK OFF!

[WTFH]

Hey pip, if you stuck to General instead of lying in Business, you might get away with it for longer.
(Moving thread to General)

[Marge On The Barge]

Greetings all - I'm a scrum master on a project with a certain governmental cartographic agency. We're approximately 75% through the development phase of this project and just as the deadlines start to get a bit aggressive we've had an inexperienced permanent developer foisted upon us. For the record, up until this point, the team has comprised 100% contractor resource.

This isn't any typical PS role - we've worked hard for this & they are getting their money's worth so the subsequent dip in productivity that has occurred since this new team member was onboarded hasn't gone unnoticed by the business.

I have taken this to the IT programme manager but it's fallen on deaf ears and there's really nowhere else I can go with this. The only way forward I can see is to try and divvy up all the real noddy jobs and give those to him - but even then, nothing we do is that simple given our application area.

Was just wondering if anyone else has found themselves in this situation? Bottom line is, we need another permie on the team to call him out but since we don't have that it looks like the buck stops with us contractors through no fault of our own.